Cliff: You know, guys, I've been telling you for a long time now that like the proud bird on my sleeve, I was a lone eagle. Yep. Even the eagle's got to mate once in his life. Molts in the spring. You know the female lays one to three eggs? Incubation period's about 35 days.
Margaret: [enters] Cliff!
Cliff: Thank God!

Cliff: Maggie-pants!
Margaret: Oh, Cliff, I missed you so much.
Cliff: I missed you, too. Turn around, let me have a look at you. Oh, your back bacon is makin' me achin'!
Margaret: Oh, Cliff, I dreamed of hearing you say that.

Margaret: I can't tell you how hard these months of separation have been. The men up in Canada, well, they just don't compare to you.
Cliff: Ohh.
Margaret: They're just pale, pathetic imitations of you.
Carla: Boy, that must be one butt-ugly country.

Rebecca: Well, I'm on my way to the plastic surgeon, but I don't know what to do. Look, I need some input. What do you think I should have done?
Frasier: Eyelids.
Norm: Tummy tuck.
Sam: Liposuction.
Frasier: Age shows first there.
Woody: Miss Howe, I'm getting tired of all this plastic surgery talk. Now, I know it may not be popular, but I'm going out on a limb and say I don't think you should change a thing. You're a beautiful woman and just about perfect the way god made you.
Rebecca: Well, Woody, nobody's perfect. There's got to be something.
Woody: Well, then your breasts.
Rebecca: Thank you, Woody.
Woody: No. Thank you.

Sam: Is Cliff here?
Woody: He's in the bathroom drying off.
Margaret: Thank God because I was so worried about him. Poor Cliff has been through so much.
Sam: Sit right here. I'll get you some coffee.
Frasier: Margaret. Uh, you should know that Cliff is a troubled, deeply disturbed, and emotionally stunted person. Now, I can say this because I'm one of his closest friends.

Norm: All right, Rebecca's back. You decide what to have the body and fender man fix?
Rebecca: I not only made the decision by myself, thank you very much, but I've already had the surgery performed on an outpatient basis.
Woody: Already? Wow, they look great.
Rebecca: Woody, he didn't work on my breasts.
Woody: Well, then, why are they so much perkier?
Rebecca: Thank you, Woody.
Woody: No. Thank you.

Carla: [to Frasier] What's with your head?
Lilith: There was an incident in our Lamaze class.
Carla: What happened?
Frasier: Suffice it to say that Lamaze class is not the place to flirt.

Rebecca: You know, the most wonderful thing just happened to me on the way over here.
Sam: And what is that?
Rebecca: I was in a car accident.
Norm: Oh, yeah. Nothing like a little broken glass and twisted metal to put the spring back in your step.
Rebecca: No. This was actually just a Fender-bender, but the bender happens to be a plastic surgeon. Now, he doesn't want me to report this to the insurance company, so he said he will give me the plastic surgery procedure of my choice. Isn't that great?
Norm: Whoo!
Carla: He'll only do one thing?
Rebecca: Uh-huh.
Carla: Report the accident.

Cliff: I'm not gonna give you any fancy build-up. I'm gonna let you listen to it just as I heard it. You can judge for yourselves. Now feel the heat.
Margaret: [on answer machine] Hi, Cliff. I just want to let you know I'll be in town tomorrow.
I hope you can make time for me. I need to see you. Bye.
Cliff: Heh? So, come on, what do you think? She's hungry for me. I can hear that little body trembling.
Sam: Cliffie, she didn't really say anything there.
Cliff: Didn't say anything? "Make time, need to see you, bye." Huh?

Cliff: Hey, guys, did you hear that? Cliff Clavin's got a girl! Sammy, give me a bottle of your best champagne! You made me the happiest man in the world! Sorry, guys. You're not gonna be seeing Cliff around here very much anymore.
Norm: Maggie, you've made me the happiest man in the world.
Cliff: Boy, just think of that... After all these years, I got myself a steady girl. I'm walking on air. I'm high as a kite. [pours champagne on the floor] I'm blind as a mole.