Robin: At any rate, I wanted to thank you. And as a man of the world, I'm sure you've been in similar circumstances and know how embarrassing it can be. It was nice to find an ally in a sticky situation like that.
Sam: Ally, nothing. I just didn't want to see Rebecca hurt.
Robin: Nor do l, so I hope you'll keep up your continued silence. I mean, if the event should ever repeat itself.
Sam: "Emergency board meeting." You've got another date tonight, don't you?
Robin: Sadly, um... Yes.
Sam: I don't think I want to help you, pal.
Robin: Sam, you surprise me. You and I have the same weakness, beautiful women. I thought men like us share a common bond.
Sam: No, no. We don't share anything together. You know, Rebecca's my friend. You got a lot of nerve to think I'm going to help you cheat on her.
Robin: So you're taking an ethical stand. Well, let me counter with this. One phone call from me and you can have your bar back.
Sam: Why do you think that you can always buy anything... The whole bar? No down payment?
Robin: Cheers will be yours, Sam.
Sam: Okay, I don't feel very good about this, though.
Robin: Yes, well, you can print that on your cocktail napkins. Well, I'm off for a... Strenuous board meeting.

Rebecca: I thought I got that thorn out, but it still feels like it's in there.
Sam: Ahh.
Rebecca: Sam, you said you had something important to tell me?
Sam: Yeah. I think I just made a deal to buy back the bar.
Rebecca: That's wonderful! Isn't that fun? You get the bar. I get Robin. Don't you feel great? [exits]
Sam: [writes] l... Feel... Bad.

Carla: Sammy, I'm telling you, if she doesn't cut out that mushy stuff she's going to lose that lovin' feeling from the neck down.
Sam: Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it?
Rebecca: Elaine, your break time's over.
[A harpist comes out of the back room and plays "Lost That Loving Feeling"]
Norm: I can't believe she's got a harp in here.
Woody: Yeah, but look how great it slices these eggs.

Frasier: She's got to be told now, Sam. "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly."
Sam: I'm sorry.
Frasier: Move it, pal!

Sam: I know this is the last thing that you want to hear. And I sure as hell wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you.
Rebecca: Just go ahead and tell me.
Sam: Robin is seeing other women behind your back.
Rebecca: What?
Sam: There was no fire last night, sweetheart. Just Robin and some tall, auburn-haired babe with legs up to her eyes.
Rebecca: How can you do this to me?
Sam: What?
Rebecca: I mean, just because you're jealous, the first chance you get, you have to try and submarine Robin. You need help! Real help, not Frasier.

Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen to me a second here. I'm telling you the truth.
Rebecca: No, I thought you were my friend.
Sam: I am your friend, dammit. I'll tell you how good a friend I am. Robin was going to buy this bar back for me if I kept my mouth shut.
Rebecca: Oh, brother! How low can you sink? Do you really expect me to believe a story like that about my sweet baby?
Sam: Honey, the guy doesn't have a board meeting. He's with that woman right now.
Rebecca: Fine, fine, fine. I'm just going to prove you wrong. I'm going to go over there and wait outside that board meeting. Yes, I am. Then he's going to come out, I'll see him, we'll smooch a bit, and then we will laugh about your stupid, pitiful lies.

Sam: Boy, I don't care if she doesn't believe me. You know, I feel good about myself because I told the truth. And, you know, when it comes right down to it, I'll be able to live with myself.
Carla: Sammy, come here.
Sam: Yeah? What?
Carla: [grabs Sam's face] You could've had the bar back, you jackass!

Robin: Well, I see introductions are in order. Christine Davi, New York City Ballet, Rebecca Howe, proprietor of Cheers.
Rebecca: Sam was right. Oh, God, why does this always happen to me? How can somebody as beautiful as I am be such a loser? Robin, I thought we had something.
Christine: You're seeing her, too?
Robin: Well, this evening is off to a rollicking start.
Rebecca: Robin, I'm not the kind of person who fools around with just anybody.
Christine: Are you saying I am?
Rebecca: Ballerina, why don't you make like a swan and die.

Rebecca: Robin, I need a one-woman man.
Robin: And I am a one-woman man. It's just I'm still looking for the one woman. But you can both take heart, I've got it narrowed down to three. You two and a little charge d'affaires in the French consulate. [chuckles]
Christine: Well, I don't care who you are. I have my self-respect. No one treats Christine Davi like this.
Robin: l... l... Christine, uh...
Rebecca: So, now I guess it's down to two.
Robin: Rebecca, I am lucky to find someone so understanding as you are.
Rebecca: Not so fast, Robin. I have a little self-respect myself. You're going to have to choose, Robin, right now. Is it going to be me or your charge d'affaires?
Robin: Well, honestly, l... Don't know.
Rebecca: Fine. Then promise me you'll think about it a while. [kisses Robin]

Rebecca: Hi, Sam.
Sam: Hello.
Rebecca: Well, I guess I owe you an apology.
Sam: Ah, I'm sorry. Feeling all right?
Rebecca: Me? Fine.
Sam: Well, did you tell him to take off?
Rebecca: No, Sam. That would be the easy thing for me to do.
Sam: What, did you let him off the hook? Did he promise that he wouldn't see any more women?
Rebecca: No, Sam. That would be the easy thing for him to do.