Father Barry: Now, as we reflect on the life of this bewildered young man...
Gloria LeBec: Eddie knew exactly what he was doing. Two years ago, he came to my town with the ice show.
Carla: And what town would that be? Desperate Hag, Iowa?
Gloria LeBec: Kenosha, Wisconsin. That's where the ice show rehearses.
Carla: All right, so he had a fling.
Gloria LeBec: It wasn't a fling. Pengie and I fell in love.
Carla: Lady, what are you looking to get out of this? Money? Well, forget it. What do you think they paid a washed-up hockey goalie who bounced around from team to team and league to league because he was never any good in the first place?
Cliff: These tributes are really something, aren't they?

Gloria LeBec: I am not gonna stand for that kind of talk about my husband.
Carla: I told you, he was my husband. I had twins with Eddie.
Gloria LeBec: So what? So did l.
Norm: Yikes.
Carla: At least mine don't give you warts when you touch them.

Cliff: So Woody, how's that chin of yours?
Woody: Better.
Rebecca: I'm sorry I slugged you, Woody. I thought you were one of those ice people.

Rebecca: Carla, as one woman to another, you were not a fool.
Carla: Becs, before you start giving me advice about love and marriage and losing the most important thing in your life, go out sleep with a man, why don't you?
Rebecca: Poor kid. She's still mourning.

Sam: Sit down, I want to talk to you.
Carla: Sammy, I got to find out. I got to find out who he loved more. What difference does it make? The important thing is, when he was with you, he loved you.
Carla: How do I know that?
Sam: Well, all right, think of it... At least he wasn't just fooling around with another woman. I mean, he was married to her.

Gloria LeBec: I want to talk to you.
Carla: Yeah? I want to scratch you bald, paint your butt blue, and mail you to Guam.
Gloria LeBec: I'd like to see you try.
Norm: Yeah, I'd like to see that, too, actually.
Gloria LeBec: It's OK. I didn't come here to make trouble. I just came here to settle up a few things. I was at a little disadvantage at the funeral. You had your friends and family around. You had fistfuls of my hair in your hands.

Gloria LeBec: I do want to set something straight with you. Eddie loved me.
Carla: He loved me more.
Gloria LeBec: Prove it.
Carla: That's easy. I was his true love because he married me first. Now, beat it. [everyone talking]
Cliff: Carla's got a point.
Gloria LeBec: Yeah? Well, you didn't satisfy him. Why else would he have married me? [everyone talking]
Norm: Now, that's something, too.
Carla: I'm telling you guys, butt out.
Woody: Yeah, you got a point there, Carla, maybe we... [silence] Hey. Guys...

Gloria LeBec: Wait a minute. I know how to settle any doubts about how Eddie felt about me. Check this out. Eddie's favorite photograph in the whole world, and he gave it to me... Him with his nephews. Don't they look happy?
Carla: These aren't his nephews. These are my kids. Of course they look happy. This was taken on the day they found out they weren't gonna be tried as adults. Wait a minute. Eddie gave you a picture of my kids?
Gloria LeBec: Yeah, and here's the Eastern League Comeback Goalie of the Year plaque, the puck he stopped in the overtime win against the Blackhawks, the tooth he stopped it with. What have you got?
Carla: Not much. I've got a cassette of "O Canada". It was kind of our song... Us and 25 million other Hosers. All right, you proved your point. You win. Why don't you just get out of here, all right?

Sam: Can I help you?
Gordie Brown: Yeah. My name's Gordie Brown. I worked with Eddie LeBec in the ice show. Ah, this bar... It's just like Eddie described it.
Carla: You knew Eddie, huh?
Gordie Brown: Knew him? He saved my life. Yeah, I knew him.
Sam: You're the penguin he pushed out of the way from the Zamboni?
Gordie Brown: Yeah. Wrenched the hell out of my thumb, too. He didn't have to push me so hard.
Carla: What do you want?
Gordie Brown: Well, I tried to explain this to you at the funeral, but someone had their fist in my mouth. Hey, it was her.
Rebecca: Man, you punch a couple of guys out at a funeral, and everybody's on your case.

Carla: What do you have to say?
Gordie Brown: Well, late one night a couple months ago, Eddie and I were drinking. He told me he had a secret, something he felt really guilty about. So he wrote this note, and he told me if anything ever happened to him, that I should deliver it to Carla.
Carla: Sam, I can't look at this. Would you read it?
Sam: "Dear Carla, I hope you never have to read this, because if you do, it means I'm dead. How are you, eh? I've done a terrible thing. I had to marry another woman. I didn't want to, but I made her pregnant. Oh, I guess I did two terrible things. Anyway, I just want you to know I'm sorry. You'll always be the love of my life, even in death. Stay loose. Love, Eddie."
Carla: Yeah.
Gordie Brown: My work is done here.
Gloria LeBec: Wait a minute. Did he have anything for Gloria?
Gordie Brown: Would you be that Gloria?
Gloria LeBec: Yeah.
Gordie Brown: No.