Diane: Sam! Great news! I found a house.
Sam: Hey! Turn it in. Maybe you'll get a reward.

Diane: Oh, Sam, I have wonderful plans for every room in the entire house.
Sam: That's funny, so do l. [Diane laughs] Why don't we start right here in the living room? Yeah, these floors look like they could use a little polishing.
Diane: Oh, Sam. Sam.

Bert Miller: Well, of course, we know we're supposed to be out of here by now, but, well, we forgot a few odds and ends, you know? And, uh, well, we just wanted to take a last look. Well, you know, when you've lived in a house for 40 years, taking that last step out the door, well, it- it- it's pretty hard.
Diane: Of course.
Lillian Miller: I confess, I touched liquor this morning.
Bert Miller: Oh, tha- That's all right, my girl.
Lillian Miller: But you look like a fine couple. I'm glad the house is going to you.
Diane: Thank you.
Sam: Oh, yeah, yeah, we plan to do great things in it - with it, with it.

Bert Miller: So many memories. Like when Mikey climbed up the bookshelves and hit his head on the mantle. You remember? Oh, we were all so worried.
Lillian Miller: And that's where little Janey rehearsed her dance for the school play.
Diane: Oh. You know, I studied ballet as a child. So I became quite experien-
Bert Miller: Berty Junior took his first steps on this very spot right here. And that's where we always put our Christmas tree.

Sam: Gee, what a sweet couple, huh? Let's see, where were we? Oh, yes, yes, yes, I think we were, uh, talking about polishing the floor. Do want to wax or shall we buff?
Diane: I cannot live a single day in this house.
Sam: Oh, God.

Diane: I mean it, Sam. I could never live here.
Sam: No, don't say that. Don't say that. Listen, hey, I got a surprise for you. Look, I took the picture down.
Diane: Sam, it has nothing to do with the picture.
Sam: I- I
Diane: Although I do appreciate that. This place belongs to Bert and Lillian. It's alive with their memories. Oh, poor Mikey. Now, that must have smarted.

Woody: This is great! I got the one where they're on the train.
Sam: Yeah. Not now, Woody. [laughs] Look at that. I never noticed that. The bloodhound's doubling down. Look at that. [horn honks] Uh, I'm sorry about this, you guys. It's a- It's a bad time.
Carla: [o.s.] Wait till the honeymoon!

Diane: Sam, every time I look at that place, I can't help but think about that poor, old couple, shambling away from their house, wishing they could spend one last Christmas there with their family.
Frasier: Well, then why not just give them one last Christmas there, if that's what they want? But rid yourself of the guilt you feel by robbing them of the last few happy memories left them.
Sam: Oh, you know, that- that's the screwiest idea I've ever heard.
Diane: No, Sam, he's right. We- We'll- We'll call the Millers and all their children, and we'll plan a Christmas party. Oh, Sam, it'll make the transition easier for them and for me.
Sam: Well, what are we supposed to do until December? Bunk out with Ma Clavin?
Diane: No, I mean, we'll do it now. This year, Christmas comes next week. Oh, huh? Oh, it'll be fun.
Woody: Oh, gee, I hate it when they change holidays around just to make a three-day weekend.

Diane: Who's ready for some delicious hot apple cider?
Girl: Can I have mine with ice? It's 80 degrees outside.
Diane: Where's your Christmas spirit, Naomi?
Girl: It melted.
Bert Miller: There's another present for you there, Naomi. Isn't that right, Santa?
Sam: I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking. All right, here it is, here it is. There you go, kid. There you are.
Girl: Oh, boy!
Lillian Miller: What do you say, Naomi?
Girl: Thank you, Santa.
Diane: And what do you say, Santa?
Sam: Yeah, Mrs. Claus is going to pay for this.

Diane: I can't believe what you just did, Sam.
Sam: I am not going to apologize, Diane.
Diane: Suddenly, the house is ours.
Sam: You mean that?
Diane: You claimed it for me.
Sam: Oh.
Diane: Just stood up and claimed it for me like some animal out of the wild. Oh, Sam you're so sexy when you're territorial.