Narrator: Tobias knew he couldn't leave DeBrie in the trash in a highly-trafficked area, but also knew he had a show to put on. And so he went off to search for any Sue Storm in the port. And when the search proved unsuccessful, he ended up finding one inside himself.
Tobias: Time to channel my inner Storm.
Narrator: And because he didn't have the costume, he created one out of some makeup he'd always had in case he got a call. And perhaps it was his muscle memory that led to this.
Tobias: Tobias, what are you doing? [to a man] Oh, pardon the mess. I just blue myself for the first time in five years.

Narrator: Fortunately Tobias, who had once turned down an offer from Lucille 2...
Lucille Austero: How would you like to come work for me at Austerity?
Tobias: Mmm... No.
Narrator: Had, after a particularly vicious beating with a soup ladle, changed his tune.
Tobias: [on the phone] Mmm...
Narrator: But didn't want to look too eager.
Tobias: Yes.

Tobias: And speaking of hopeless, I think we all recognize this gentleman. [hums Johnny's theme from The Tonight Show]
Emmett Richter: I'm not Andy [bleep] Richter. I'm Emmett.
Narrator: Although he was Andy's identical quintuplet brother. Unfortunately, he wouldn't allow us to show his face on camera.
Tobias: Emmett who?
Emmett Richter: Richter.
Tobias: Simon says you're out. [Emmett gets up and leaves] No, I was being witty. What's wrong with you?
Emmett Richter: [grabs potted plant] I hoard.
Tobias: Now, that's what we call a breakthrough.

Debrie: So, how are you?
Tobias: Good, gosh, great, yes. After you left, I booked a guesty on a hidden camera show. [police officer clears throat] Could you give me one second to organically get... And I'm also a registered sex offender. How are you?

Tobias: You know, we could put on a musical. This place is littered with talent. I could direct, we could get Mark Cherry to do the music, and we can cast it with patients.
Narrator: It was a desperate attempt to get to be with the woman he loved, but Argyle had a professional responsibility.
Argyle Austero: I don't know if I'd want to risk a patient's sobriety with that kind of pressure.
Narrator: But like a dog's wagging tail, Argyle's tapping feet betrayed his true feelings.
Tobias: When it comes to DeBrie, you don't have to worry about her being under pressure because she's a professional actress.
Narrator: Which also made its way onto Tobias' reel for some reason.

Tobias: She was in the movie The Fantastic Four.
Argyle Austero: Oh, my God. I was in The Fantasticks. Look at that. My sister and I played the young lovers. [sings] I can see it Shining somewhere Shining somehow Where And I'm ready, I can see it
Narrator: It was uncanny how much the two men had in common.
Argyle Austero: They used to call me Mister Fantastic.
Tobias: Wait a minute. DeBrie played Sue Storm, you played Mr. Fantastic. I have a suit made of rocks, if I can get it back from the State of California. We shall mount a musical of The Fantastic Four.
Argyle Austero: I don't like it. I love it.
Tobias: Huzzah!

Rebel: Listen, if you've got a problem with me seeing other people, why don't you just come out and say it?
Michael: No, no, I can.
Rebel: What do you mean?
Michael: I can handle that. We'll see each other a la carte, you know? Like the $18 baked potato you ordered that you didn't touch.
Rebel: Yeah, you're not comfortable. [exits]
Michael: Yeah, no, well, listen. Rebel, Rebel. Fine. See you later. Say hi to Ron Howard for me.

Michael: Hope you're happy. My girlfriend left, 'cause she can't stand your right-wing, American scallop-eating boyfriend.
Lindsay: Well, he left because your chirpy little actress couldn't keep her mouth shut.
Michael: That's it. Know what? You're out of the movie.
Lindsay: Fine. Good night.
Michael: Good night.

Narrator: And with his evening freed up, Michael reached out to a son he'd earlier blown off...
Michael: [on the phone] George Michael, hey. Got out of it. I made a ton of people angry, but you know what I always say, "Family"...
George Michael: Gosh, I really wanted to do that, but I just had this work thing come up, and it's like you always say, "Family first, unless there's a work thing, and then work first."
Michael: I have said that, too. I've got politics and producing stuff I can...
Narrator: After being kicked out of his son's dorm and stood up at the Ealing Club, this particular rejection really hurt.
Michael: Another time.

Narrator: But he tried to put on a brave face when he ran into a woman he was in debt to.
Michael: Who is this?
Lucille Austero: This is my baby brother, Argyle. And here's the family joke. I'm a tall drink of water, and he's the chaser. [chuckles]
Michael: It should be flipped, right?
Argyle Austero: No, because here's another joke. You owe my sister $700,000, and I'm going to chase you down until you pay up. And if you don't pay up by the 4th, you're gonna be washing up with the rest of the broken piñatas on the 5th.