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Double Crossers

‘Double Crossers’

Season 4, Episode 6 -  Aired May 26, 2013

George Sr. bribes a politician, Herbert Love (Terry Crews), so he can build a wall along the U.S./Mexican border.

Quote from Narrator

Narrator: In fact, Michael didn't even find out who she was until one night earlier.
Michael: Oh, my God. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.
Narrator: Although he did have some of the details wrong.
Ron Howard: She's an actress. You know her.
Narrator: She was Ron's illegitimate daughter, a fact unbeknownst to many.
Ron Howard: Well, we kind of like to keep that quiet.
Narrator: A woman who, like Bryce Dallas and Paige Carlyle, was named after where she was conceived. And she actually had worked for some A-list directors. She did a Terrence Malick.
Rebel: Are we the same? Are we the same?
Narrator: She got the lead in a Woody Allen film.
Rebel: But I felt like I was in The Iceman Cometh, but, you know, in my case, he faketh.
Narrator: And was once even directed by her own father...
Ron Howard: Action.
Rebel: Next time, don't pocket it, pay for it. Shoplifting, not cool.
Narrator: In a public service announcement.
Rebel: And cut.
Narrator: Which, like all of Ron's work...
Ron Howard: You know, I think we got it.
Narrator: was inspired by a photograph. Rebel was indeed a rebel. But Michael didn't possess that information.


Quote from Gob

Michael: I can give you some information about your airless office you're gonna be spending most mornings in.
Gob: You know, what I could go for is some guac.
Michael: Well, you don't live there anymore, Gob.
Gob: This heat just makes me want guac.

Quote from George Sr.

Lucille Austero: How dare you?
George Sr.: Lucille 2.
Lucille Austero: Did you think I wouldn't find out?
George Sr.: I was going to cut you in. I was trying to protect you so they wouldn't link you to it, but it turns out that we can't afford to build it anyway.
Lucille Austero: Build what?
George Sr.: The wall in Mexico, the high wall. What were you talking about?
Lucille Austero: I was talking about you giving money to Herbert Love in his campaign against me.
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. That was to get Love to support the wall. Oh, I tell you, I've been all over the place on this one.
Lucille Austero: I can't be running a company that's building a wall I campaigned against.
George Sr.: Listen to me, it's taken care of. I just ran into Michael. He's got Love against the wall. It's done. It's gonna be in the speech tonight. It's over.
Lucille Austero: It better be, or I'll talk about it in my speech tonight. Now, I've got a stair car to wave from. And I can't be seen with you.
George Sr.: 'Cause I'm fat. It's because I am fat. You think I'm a fat person.
Lucille Austero: You are such a drama queen.
Narrator: George, Sr. was worried.
George Sr.: These fat arms. I don't understand this.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: I was wondering if you could tell me my test results.
Dr. Norman: Oh, yes, yes. Well, your testosterone numbers are off the charts. [George Sr. sighs] Below the charts. Under the charts. I don't know how to say that. You have almost no testosterone at all. I don't know the exact numbers, but it's somewhere in the baby range. On the plus side, your estrogen levels are that of a very healthy woman in the throes of her menses.
George Sr.: May I see my results?
Dr. Norman: Oh, I wish you'd asked me about five minutes ago. I think I dumped it with a pot pipe and a bottle of cheetah sedative. Also, the people at Orange County Imaging said that you were masturbating in an MRI tube? [George Sr. nods] Oh, no.
George Sr.: But, Doctor, you told me to.
Dr. Norman: I did no such thing. Oh, no. No. No, you can't do that. That sounds like something I would say when I had my thinking cap on. [laughs] You, sir, are a very funny lady.
George Sr.: That's what they always say to the unattractive one.

Quote from George Sr.

Narrator: It was finally time for Herbert Love to make his speech when the party was suddenly ransacked. Of course, it was Cinco, so it took a while for anyone to notice. It appeared the Hispanic community had had enough of Cinco de Cuatro.
George Sr.: God, the blowback.
Crowd: [chant] Put up this wall.
Narrator: But the blowback created a greater blowback as the crowd that had gathered to hear Herbert Love speak was whipped into a frenzy.
Crowd: [chant] Put up this wall.
Narrator: And that's when George, Sr. knew he was in real trouble. Fortunately, he was able to find a disguise.
George Sr.: Oh, God.
Narrator: Unfortunately...

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