Michael: We'll do it your way. I'm just here to have fun.
Gob: Not too much fun, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today.
[flashback:]
Gob: And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep]- Or- Or finger- [bleep] Or [bleep] fisting Or [bleep] Or even [bleep], even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister, Lindsay I'll take off my pants, I'll shave [bleep] and I'll personally [bleep].

Michael: You sound mad, Mom, mad enough to throw one of these little lady heads at him.
Lucille: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Well, maybe you're a little bit lonely and you're acting out for attention.
Lucille: [chuckles] That's ridiculous. I want you to move in with me.
Michael: What? No. No. No. No, no, no, no. Didn't you adopt a child for this very reason? So that you would never be alone?
Lucille: Michael, a mother doesn't have a child to give herself company. Annyong was to teach Buster a lesson.
Michael: And where is that little lesson?
Lucille: I sent him to the Milford Academy to teach him a lesson. I can't remember about what.

Narrator: In fact, Buster never went to the army. He'd gotten hooked playing the skill crane and missed his first day. Somewhat ashamed and with nowhere to go, he returned home.
Gob: Hey, Buster.
Lucille: Buster! Thank God you're back! There's no shame in being a coward.
Buster: A coward? I'm not a coward. Would a coward have this?
Lucille: What the hell is that?
Buster: These are my awards, Mother, from army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing.
Lucille: You're doing well?
Buster: I was just dropping these off. Now, if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.
Gob: Oh, that- [stammers] That's great. The guy who's dirty dancing with his niece is gonna tell the guy in the $3,600 suit how to run the business.
Michael: I know. Maybe we're better off with me being businesslike and you being the good-time, useless party guy.
Gob: It got us this far.
Michael: Mm-hmm.
Gob: And I must say that I miss the laughter. Oh, God, how they used to laugh with me.
Michael: At you.

Lindsay: What happened to you?
Tobias: What? Oh, oh. My ears. The doctor said I can't go to sleep for five hours or I might die or something. [to George Michael] Oh, I got blown, so I can't sleep.

Michael: Another one of Dad's suits?
Gob: Hey, I'm the president now. I'm filling Dad's shoes, literally. Except his shoes don't fit. But I did finally get into Dad's pants, although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit.

Michael: You know, Gob, maybe it's the suits, but I think you may be beginning to alienate some of the employees down at work.
Gob: [chuckles] What? Oh, that's great. The president has to worry about alienating the employees now.
Narrator: In fact, Gob had started to alienate some of his colleagues.
[flashback to Gob about to pour a cup of coffee:]
Gob: The worst that could happen is I could spill some on my $3,000 suit.
[flashback to Gob in the elevator:]
Man: [waves] Hey!
Gob: The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!
[flashback to Gob in the men's room:]
Gob: Why don't I just take a whiz through this $5,000 suit?

Maeby: Thank God I don't have to go.
Lindsay: So glad to hear you say that. I wanna meet someone there.
Maeby: What? So I'm not invited to the Bluth Company Christmas party?
Lindsay: Oh, honey, of course you can go if you want to.
Maeby: Thanks, Mom.
Lindsay: No, you're not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it'll just make me seem like I'm a mother.
Maeby: I've never thought of you that way.
Lindsay: That's sweet.

Tobias: Well, I won't be going. I will be head to toe in blue makeup until 8:01 in case the Blue Man Group needs their understudy, so-
Lindsay: No, no, you have to go. So when men find out we're in an open relationship, they'll see you're no threat. People hear the name Tobias, they think big, black guy.
Tobias: Well, obviously I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par exemple.
Lindsay: I forgot about Carl. Is he still single?

George Michael: I was supposed to go to Ann's parents' Christmas party. We're makin' yams.
Michael: Tonight? Tonight is the office party.
George Michael: Well, did you want me to go to that? You're always telling me not to have fun at those things.
Michael: Yes. We might even snatch a gift from the charity barrel.
George Michael: Oh. Okay, well- well, I think Ann's parents are having their party on Bethlehem time which is pretty early, so maybe I can make an appearance.
Michael: Make an appearance? Uh- Uh- No, no. It's okay. You be with Yam. It's fine. It's good.
George Michael: It's Ann.