Michael: We'll do it your way. I'm just here to have fun.
Gob: Not too much fun, all right? I already gave my big sexual harassment speech today.
[flashback:]
Gob: And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep]- Or- Or finger- [bleep] Or [bleep] fisting Or [bleep] Or even [bleep], even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister, Lindsay I'll take off my pants, I'll shave [bleep] and I'll personally [bleep].

Narrator: In fact, Buster never went to the army. He'd gotten hooked playing the skill crane and missed his first day. Somewhat ashamed and with nowhere to go, he returned home.
Gob: Hey, Buster.
Lucille: Buster! Thank God you're back! There's no shame in being a coward.
Buster: A coward? I'm not a coward. Would a coward have this?
Lucille: What the hell is that?
Buster: These are my awards, Mother, from army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing.
Lucille: You're doing well?
Buster: I was just dropping these off. Now, if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Michael: You sound mad, Mom, mad enough to throw one of these little lady heads at him.
Lucille: What's that supposed to mean?
Michael: Well, maybe you're a little bit lonely and you're acting out for attention.
Lucille: [chuckles] That's ridiculous. I want you to move in with me.
Michael: What? No. No. No. No, no, no, no. Didn't you adopt a child for this very reason? So that you would never be alone?
Lucille: Michael, a mother doesn't have a child to give herself company. Annyong was to teach Buster a lesson.
Michael: And where is that little lesson?
Lucille: I sent him to the Milford Academy to teach him a lesson. I can't remember about what.