Gregory: Our principal is otherwise engaged. But I'm happy to fill in for her. How can I help you?
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I took a series of catastrophe modules in my principal training. I'm also prepared for tidal waves, Facebook crashing - that's for the older teachers - and a lice outbreak. For the white teachers.

Jacob: Greetings and saaaaluuutations...
Ava: Not today, Jacob. This morning is already on my last nerve. I tried to take a picture of this woman's crooked lace front, dropped my phone, cracked it. I asked her to pay for it, she said she gonna call the cops. I am one minor inconvenience from putting this whole day in rice.
Jacob: Oh, been there. Sort of.

Jacob: Well, let me improve your day with a tasty offering. I made carrot cookies.
Janine: You mean carrot cake?
Jacob: As if. Carrot cookies... made with carrots and carrot juice.
Ava: Mnh, no, just looking at them almost put me over the top.
Jacob: Janine? Can I tempt you?
Janine: Yeah.
Jacob: They're made with salvaged oat pulp.
Gregory: Those look alive.
Jacob: Well, yeah. That's the probiotics.
Janine: Uh, you know what? I probably shouldn't on an empty stomach, so...