Barbara Quote #112
Captain Robinson: Alright, folks, this meeting was actually not meant to be so interactive, okay? [click] Bottom line... no more open flames in school. Intentional or not, they start fires. Especially when used carelessly.
Barbara: Excuse me, but what exactly do you mean by open flame? I mean, surely candles are still okay.
Captain Robinson: A candle's an open flame, so, no, they're not.
Barbara: Well, that's ridiculous. I've been lighting candles here for 20 years without a single problem.
Gregory: Until today.
Barbara: And there won't be another.
Captain Robinson: Exactly, there won't be another one because there will be no more candles on this property.
Janine: Does that apply to birthday candles?
Barbara: Well, that is unfair. This school is full of hazards.
Jacob: And birthdays.
Barbara: You have no idea the nonsense that teachers get away with here repeatedly. But the one time I light a candle for peace of mind, without ever having a prior problem, you want to take it away from me. Well, that is unfair and ridiculous!
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Fire’ Quotes
Quote from Gregory
Gregory: Our principal is otherwise engaged. But I'm happy to fill in for her. How can I help you?
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I took a series of catastrophe modules in my principal training. I'm also prepared for tidal waves, Facebook crashing - that's for the older teachers - and a lice outbreak. For the white teachers.
Quote from Ava
Jacob: Greetings and saaaaluuutations...
Ava: Not today, Jacob. This morning is already on my last nerve. I tried to take a picture of this woman's crooked lace front, dropped my phone, cracked it. I asked her to pay for it, she said she gonna call the cops. I am one minor inconvenience from putting this whole day in rice.
Jacob: Oh, been there. Sort of.
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Well, let me improve your day with a tasty offering. I made carrot cookies.
Janine: You mean carrot cake?
Jacob: As if. Carrot cookies... made with carrots and carrot juice.
Ava: Mnh, no, just looking at them almost put me over the top.
Jacob: Janine? Can I tempt you?
Janine: Yeah.
Jacob: They're made with salvaged oat pulp.
Gregory: Those look alive.
Jacob: Well, yeah. That's the probiotics.
Janine: Uh, you know what? I probably shouldn't on an empty stomach, so...