Ava Quote #81
Quote from Ava in Open House
Ava: And that concludes the Total Waste of Time Tour.
Superintendent Collins: So I guess I'll be seeing you in a couple of weeks at the school board meeting.
Ava: Yes, you will, and I'll be asking for extra funding for next year, and you will, of course, give it to me.
Superintendent Collins: Well, I'm not so sure about that, because, Ava, that's my wife come to pick me up.
Ava: That's not your wife. That's the woman that you...
Superintendent Collins: Married? Yeah, I got divorced and remarried to the Deaconess. So all you saw me doing was kissing my future wife. But if your presentation to the school board is anything like that tour, you're in a lot of trouble.
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Open House’ Quotes
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: Okay, I'm back. Had to show a couple of parents... how to get to another school. They were in the wrong place. [reshuffles cards] Oh, sorry, Mr. Johnson, I gotta do that. Last time I trusted someone else to shuffle, I lost a kidney.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
[After studying his hand, Jacob goes to slide all his chips in]
Melissa: Okay! Just wait. I can't let you do this, kid. Why don't we just say we're playing for these chips and not real money?
Mr. Johnson: A bet is a bet. I gambled away my house, my car, and my subscription to Horse Fancy. No one ever said, "That's okay, Mr. Johnson. It was an honest mistake."
Quote from Ava
Ava: [over P.A.] Principal A-A-Ava, son! Another one! Check out this oldie but goodie by my guy Ginuwine! It's called "Pony," y'all! And he ain't talking about a horse! ["Pony" plays over P.A.] Superintendent Collins, you showed.
Superintendent Collins: Just stopping by for a quick tour.
Ava: Well, if you want to waste your time, fine by me. But you know if you got a problem, there's nothing you can do about it.
Superintendent Collins: It's my job to be here.
Ava: Well, I wouldn't want to cheat you out of a tour. [chuckles] I say that 'cause you cheated on your wife.
Superintendent Collins: I got it the first time.
Ava: Let me put on some Toni Braxton. You'll like this one. It's called... [echoing] "Love Shoulda Brought You Home"!