Ava Quote #79
Quote from Ava in Open House
Ava: [over P.A.] Principal A-A-Ava, son! Another one! Check out this oldie but goodie by my guy Ginuwine! It's called "Pony," y'all! And he ain't talking about a horse! ["Pony" plays over P.A.] Superintendent Collins, you showed.
Superintendent Collins: Just stopping by for a quick tour.
Ava: Well, if you want to waste your time, fine by me. But you know if you got a problem, there's nothing you can do about it.
Superintendent Collins: It's my job to be here.
Ava: Well, I wouldn't want to cheat you out of a tour. [chuckles] I say that 'cause you cheated on your wife.
Superintendent Collins: I got it the first time.
Ava: Let me put on some Toni Braxton. You'll like this one. It's called... [echoing] "Love Shoulda Brought You Home"!
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Open House’ Quotes
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: Okay, I'm back. Had to show a couple of parents... how to get to another school. They were in the wrong place. [reshuffles cards] Oh, sorry, Mr. Johnson, I gotta do that. Last time I trusted someone else to shuffle, I lost a kidney.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
[After studying his hand, Jacob goes to slide all his chips in]
Melissa: Okay! Just wait. I can't let you do this, kid. Why don't we just say we're playing for these chips and not real money?
Mr. Johnson: A bet is a bet. I gambled away my house, my car, and my subscription to Horse Fancy. No one ever said, "That's okay, Mr. Johnson. It was an honest mistake."
Quote from Gregory
Melissa: Is that Gregory?
Jacob: Did he look, like, disheveled?
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: Normally, I do these standing up, but I realized something... Nothing matters. Okay? Why try? I mean, I tried for the principal job, and for what? You know, what was the point? I mean, what's the point of anything, really? Oh, yeah, I loosened my tie, yeah. I mean, why even sit up straight, you know? I like this. It feels better. [grunts] Why do people sit like that?