Melissa Quote #27
Quote from Melissa in Student Transfer
Courtney: I went from having one teacher to two. Ain't that some [bleep]?
Janine & Melissa: Courtney!
Melissa: You know, I'm glad she's in your class now so you two can throw your little tantrums together.
Janine: I'm sorry, was it not a tantrum when you sent Courtney to my class without warning me about her behavioral issues? Yes, I saw your notes in your file.
Melissa: I did try to warn you, ya gabbadost, but you got too big for your britches and you didn't want to listen.
Janine: Well, maybe if you hadn't been making fun of me yesterday, I wouldn't have gotten defensive.
Melissa: Janine, I was goofing. Unlike when you called me a bad teacher, something I would never call you. You know, I-I know that review hit you hard, but I didn't deserve that.
Janine: [sighs] Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. That review really, really hurt my feelings, and I took it out on you.
Melissa: It wasn't even that bad. It just said you were less experienced. Listen, if you go look at the Facebook reviews of my cousin Rocco's hoagie shop, you would think the man sold food poisoning. [Janine chuckles] But he's gonna keep making hoagies. You know why? Most people love them. You got to keep making hoagies.
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Student Transfer’ Quotes
Quote from Barbara
Jacob: Barbara, have you ever been roasted by your students?
Barbara: One, they're five. Two, they respect me. Three, what would they even say?
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Hey, I need to talk. Like to a friend. You know how sometimes when you're being chased by a dog and you can't tell if it's playing or if it's trying to bite you?
Gregory: No.
Jacob: But at the same time, you don't want to stop running, because if it isn't playing, you're gonna get bit? Look, I tried roasting my students back, and it didn't work. It got way worse and oddly specific.
Gregory: Come on. It couldn't have been that bad.
Jacob: They called me "HuffPo-reading gay Pete Buttigieg," which is repetitive and insulting. As if I would read a word of Huffington Post after Arianna stepped down.
Gregory: You may just have to take the L on this one, man. I mean, you can't really beat them at their own game. It's like them challenging you to... Dungeons & Dragons.
Jacob: Yeah, you can't really challenge someone to D&D. It's more like a cooperative game that's all about the shared experience rather than winning. [gasps, snaps fingers] Thank you, you ol' good friendship having man.
Quote from Ava
Janine: I feel that with a more challenging workload, Courtney will be much, much easier to handle, and she won't have time to distract her classmates.
Ava: Mm-hmm. Why does that sound so familiar? Oh. Hold up.
Melissa: [removes file] Part 3?
Ava: My bad, y'all. She was supposed to skip second grade, but they told me during Essence Fest. I missed a lot of paperwork during that month.
Janine: Isn't Essence Fest just a weekend?
Ava: Maybe for y'all.