Mr. Johnson: Man, this is messier than Temple Homecoming '74. The kindergarten toilet somehow took out all the second floor toilets with it. Third floor bathroom is all we got now.
Janine: And I just got off the phone with the city. They said they can't do anything until next week.
Barbara: Thank you, Janine. I was hoping I could take my entire class up and down the stairs all day long. And since one of my students can't use the stairs, I'll have to drop Johnny off with another teacher. Thank you.

Ashley: You know, when you think about it, "Grindin'" by Clipse was kind of the original Cup Song.
Jacob: Mm. Oh, my God. I never thought about it like that. Anna Kendrick is such a fraud!

Jacob: [to Melissa] I haven't seen you this mad since the bartender cut you off at the batting cages.

Barbara: I know you didn't mean to ruin my day, Janine.
Janine: But I did.
Barbara: You did. I tried to tell you no, but you wouldn't listen. All day long I have 5-year-olds asking me why this, why that. I do not have the time for a bunch of 20-somethings doing the same thing.
Janine: I hear you. I do. But, Barbara, we need to know the why. If you just tell us the answer, we'll never learn how to solve the problems. We need you to show your work, too. Look, when you were first starting out, didn't you have someone who, like, walked you through everything and showed you the tricks of the trade?
Barbara: I did not.
Janine: Oh. Okay. I can't believe that they won't come out for a week just because we have one working bathroom left. Phew.
Barbara: Janine, now is when you fix something. When it's broken. You see how that works?
Janine: I mean [chuckles] yeah, unless you're the city.
Barbara: I will be right back. Watch my class. Thank you. Excuse me.

Barbara: Melissa, I need your baseball bat.
Melissa: Taped under my desk.
Barbara: Mm-hmm.
Melissa: Oh, wipe it down when you're done.
Barbara: Got it.