Dick Quote #513

Quote from Dick in Will Work for Dick

Dick: Harry, I have great news. You're going to be my new assistant.
Harry: Whoa! Assistant High Commander Harry. I knew this day would come.
Dick: No, no, no, Harry, my office assistant. You'll find me to be an easy person to work for. My demands are simple. Simply someone who understands that working for me is in and of itself a reason to live.
Harry: Well, it seems like I should be paying you.
Dick: I considered that, Harry, but it's impossible. You'll be making virtually nothing.


 ‘Will Work for Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Harry: Nope.
Dick: Well, you've stapled before.
Harry: I have not.
Dick: Well, surely you've used a paper clip.
Harry: Oh, you mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Harry: Two.
Dick: You're hired.

Quote from Harry

Harry: So, Dick, you know what I overheard at the water cooler?
Dick: What?
Harry: That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler.

 Dick Solomon Quotes

Quote from Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Quote from Brains and Eggs

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.