Harry Quote #249

Quote from Harry in Will Work for Dick

Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Harry: Nope.
Dick: Well, you've stapled before.
Harry: I have not.
Dick: Well, surely you've used a paper clip.
Harry: Oh, you mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Harry: Two.
Dick: You're hired.

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 ‘Will Work for Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Harry: So, Dick, you know what I overheard at the water cooler?
Dick: What?
Harry: That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler.

Quote from Harry

Dick: Harry, get out here. Now! Why is my out box full?
Harry: Because the mail just came in.
Dick: Well, why did you put it in the out box?
Harry: Because it came out of the mail.
Dick: And why is my letter to the Dean in the inbox?
Harry: Uh, well, the Dean won't be back till tomorrow, but once he's in, the in goes out.
Dick: Harry, things in the out box are going out.
Harry: Well, why don't we just get one big box? That way we'll put everything in there. I mean, that's 50% less box.
Dick: That's not how it's done. Harry, anyone with half a brain could do this job. What is your problem?
Harry: Dick?
Dick: Yes.
Harry: Talk to the hand.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Harry, I have great news. You're going to be my new assistant.
Harry: Whoa! Assistant High Commander Harry. I knew this day would come.
Dick: No, no, no, Harry, my office assistant. You'll find me to be an easy person to work for. My demands are simple. Simply someone who understands that working for me is in and of itself a reason to live.
Harry: Well, it seems like I should be paying you.
Dick: I considered that, Harry, but it's impossible. You'll be making virtually nothing.