Dick Quote #519
Quote from Dick in Will Work for Dick
Dick: Okay. I put this under here, press this, enter the number "30," and start. Piece of cake. [printer beeps] "Paper jam"? Okay, fine. I just press this, open this, remove the paper, and press this and "start." [printer beeps] "See key operator." Well, that's me. I'm operating the keys. Me! Damn you! I'm going to press "cancel." Is that what you want? 'Cause I'll do it. I'll press it. Stop it! Damn you! I'm going to beat you with your own toner cartridge!
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Will Work for Dick’ Quotes
Quote from Harry
Dick: You'll only have to perform the most basic of tasks. You've sent out mail before.
Harry: Nope.
Dick: Well, you've stapled before.
Harry: I have not.
Dick: Well, surely you've used a paper clip.
Harry: Oh, you mean those cotton things you put in your ears?
Dick: Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?
Harry: Two.
Dick: You're hired.
Quote from Harry
Harry: So, Dick, you know what I overheard at the water cooler?
Dick: What?
Harry: That there's this weird guy hanging around the water cooler.
Quote from Harry
Dick: Harry, get out here. Now! Why is my out box full?
Harry: Because the mail just came in.
Dick: Well, why did you put it in the out box?
Harry: Because it came out of the mail.
Dick: And why is my letter to the Dean in the inbox?
Harry: Uh, well, the Dean won't be back till tomorrow, but once he's in, the in goes out.
Dick: Harry, things in the out box are going out.
Harry: Well, why don't we just get one big box? That way we'll put everything in there. I mean, that's 50% less box.
Dick: That's not how it's done. Harry, anyone with half a brain could do this job. What is your problem?
Harry: Dick?
Dick: Yes.
Harry: Talk to the hand.