TV Quotes

Tommy: Well, at first I was conflicted. We come from very different backgrounds. I'm an alien, and she's a Presbyterian. I have a highly developed mind, and she's got that big, pouty mouth. I tell you, Dick, it was a tough decision.
Sally: What tipped the scales?
Tommy: She let me.
Dick: Well, what happened next?
Tommy: Well, I don't know what came over me, but they were so big and round and beautiful, I just had to touch them.
Dick: And then what?
Tommy: She screamed, "Ow, my eyes!" And that just... basically killed the mood.

Dick: "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." I'm not reading 378 pages if he can't make up his mind in the first sentence.

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.