Adult Dean: I still hadn't figured out what Wendy's issue was with my sister. Kim was great at her job, but I figured it had something to do with Kim being from the original mother race and Wendy being jealous because her loins weren't the birthplace of civilization. I mean, that's what I got from those Black Panther pamphlets in Kim's room, anyway.

Lillian: Yeah, your book report is very good, Dean. You really explained the themes of Call of the Wild very well, but you had several misspelled words. Now, honey, if you can't spell something, you gotta look it up.
Dean: How would I know if I spelled a word wrong if nobody tells me? One day, I'm gonna create something that automatically checks your spelling for you.
Lillian: Oh, baby. Lazy has already been invented. [laughs]
Adult Dean: And that's why I don't have a yacht today.

Bill: Albert.
Kwame: [sighs] Uh, I prefer Kwame, sir.
Bill: I bet you do. But that's not what your mama named you.
Kwame: Uh, well, we were on our way out, so, uh...
Bill: I parked behind you in the driveway, so we might as well sit a spell and catch up.
Kwame: Oh.
Bill: How's that revolution coming? Y'all on schedule?
Kim: Ugh.

Kim: Friendship is what I want.
Bill: You're driving this?
Kim: Yes. And my friend and I are about to be late to Cathy's party.
Bill: So you're just gonna let her do all the talking for you?
Kwame: I'm... I'm sorry...
Bill: So you're just gonna interrupt her when she was talking?
Kwame: Oh, I'm... I...
Bill: So you're just gonna let me contradict myself like that?
Kwame: I don't...

Kim: Dad, your pork chop with the gravy on the side, no potatoes. Mom, your country fried steak, light on the batter with no pepper. And here's Dean's burger, well done with pickles, but no onions. Here is a refill of your sweet tea, 'cause I noticed you were getting a little low, an extra napkin for you, and extra ketchup for Dean.
Bill: Very nice. Thank you.
Lillian: Look at our baby girl. So professional.
Kim: I told you I could handle grown-up things like having a job.
Dean: You forgot the sugar for my ketchup. I said no seeds on my bun. This lettuce is brown. I think I see onion juice on the bread, and it's... it's cold in here.
Kim: Dad, tell Dean to stop being a little butt.
Bill: Mnh-mnh. You can't come crying to Mom and Dad on the job. Handle him yourself. But remember, the customer's always right.
Kim: [chuckles] Sir, let me take that burger back to the kitchen to make it right for you. Did you want regular spit on that, or extra juicy?
Dean: On second thought, it's fine the way it is.
Kim: Mm-hmm.

Lillian: There's a lot of us in here. I think your plan just might be working.
Kim: It is, and I got lots more ideas that'll help things run better around here.
Adult Dean: My mom and dad were used to this from Kim. They always said, "When Kim goes to heaven, she's gonna tell Peter how he can run things better." To which I always replied, "If Kim goes to heaven. If."

Adult Dean: After an hour of mean-mugging and shooting the occasional spitball at Pam and Kwame, my friends had to get home.
Cory: Sorry about all this, man.
Hampton: Yeah, that Pam is a real Jezebel. Actually, she makes Jezebel look like Ruth. [off their looks] It's not just a book, guys!

Adult Dean: Watching my father glare at Kwame, I thought girl dads were the meanest people in the world. Until I became one. Now I know that meanness is totally justified.

Lillian: Well, is it a special party?
Kim: Nope.
Dean: Yes. [chuckles] Kwame's gonna be there.
Lillian: I thought you broke up with Kwame.
Bill: Albert.
Kim: I did.
Dean: If you broke up, why are you on the phone with him all the time?
Lillian: Dean, it is not polite to eavesdrop.
Bill: And what else you hear?

Kim: Probably won't have enough money for a new dress anyway. I barely make any tips at work.
Bill: You do realize that tips are based on good service, right?
Kim: Yes, Daddy. I was hired to make their new Black customers feel comfortable, but there aren't enough of them, so I've been inviting my friends to come by so they can tell people that it's cool to eat there.
Bill: If you need more customers, we're available. Want to go tonight, Lil?
Lillian: Sounds like a good idea. Stew's better on the second day, anyway.
Bill: [chuckles] Hope your plan works and you get more tips. You know, a lot of money gets taken out of that paycheck.
Kim: [laughs] I know about taxes, Daddy.
Bill: I'm talking about what I take out. Everybody in this house with a job chips in for bills. [chuckles]
Kim: [scoffs] Only you could find a way to charge me for earning my own money.