Todd: Apparently, as soon as corporate found out I wanted to come in off the road, Jo offered me a cushy new job in Tallahassee. And here's the best part, I'm a huge alligator nerd. I can name you every genus, every sub species. Also I'm a huge boob nerd.

Todd: So you two are married now, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Todd: That's sweet. How's the sex?
Jim: Yeah... [returns to work]

Todd: What's going on you guys? Yeah! The three muska-queers!
Kevin: [giggling] Mean but good!

Holly: So, Todd, this must be nice for you getting off the road. You get to spend some time with your daughter.
Todd: I don't know, I love her and all, but she turned into a bitch. Mostly she's great, but some days she acts like her mom.
Holly: Well, some girls go through a phase.

Kevin: Hey, your life is so insane. You should write a book.
Todd: Since when did you learn how to read?
Kevin: I do know how to read, though.
Todd: Yeah. You know how to read... a menu!
Kevin: [nervous chuckling] ... He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up and comer.

Michael Scott: Best day ever. Best day ever!
Holly: So much happening.
Michael Scott: Question, should I get stripes shaved on the side of my head?
Holly: No! No.
Michael Scott: Please.
Holly: Did Todd tell you to do that?
Michael Scott: Yeah.