The Office - Darryl Quote #79
Bookstore employee: Well, if you read a lot, you should check out our e-readers. They're really neat.
Darryl: Whoa, I work at a paper company, those things terrify me. They could put us out of business, you know? I heard those machines hold, like, ten books at once.
Bookstore employee: Actually, it's ten thousand.
Darryl: Holy [bleep]. What? Let me see that. It's so light. Like a croissant.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Man: Next up, secretary Schrute will read the minutes from Sunday's meeting.
Dwight K. Schrute: Minutes from previous meeting of Knights of the Night. No, Jim, hey!
Dwight K. Schrute: This meeting is for Knights of the Night only.
[later, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Knights of the Night are volunteer crime patrollers. We're often compared to the Guardian Angels, but we could not be more different from them. Seriously, we are nothing like the Guardian Angels. I mean, broad strokes purposes, sure. Think Guardian Angels. One of our many recent good deeds? We set out to capture the Scranton Strangler. Mission accomplished. Not by us.
Quote from Creed
Pam: Creed. I noticed you don't have a resolution on the board. What's yours?
Creed: I want to do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not make a big deal about it. But I know everybody saw it. Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.
Pam: How is it going?
Creed: I'm having a little trouble motivating.
Quote from Kevin
Pam: Because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways that we've fudged on some of our resolutions?
Kevin: Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet. But it's okay. I still have time, since last year I ate none.
Quote from Mrs. California
Darryl: I've been meaning to join a gym for my health. I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black president. I didn't realize how easy that would be. So now I want to live long enough to see a really, really gay president. Or a supermodel president. I want to see all the different kinds of presidents.
Quote from Lotto
Darryl: I've never been lucky. And I'm not talking about the lottery, I'm talking about stuff like developing a soy allergy at thirty-five. Who gets a soy allergy at thirty-five? And why is soy in everything?
Quote from Casino Night
Michael Scott: Why are you here?
Dwight K. Schrute: When Darryl was coming, you said you wanted me here for protection.
Michael Scott: Not. I said, not that.
Darryl: We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.
Michael Scott: That's ironic.
Michael Scott: That you are afraid.
Darryl: Why? 'Cause I'm from the hood?
Michael Scott: Dinkin flicka.
Darryl: Dinkin flicka.