Michael Scott: They say that your wedding day goes by in such a flash that you're lucky if you even get a piece of your own cake. I say, that's crazy. I say, "Let them eat cake." Margaret Thatcher said that about marriage. Smart broad.

Michael Scott: No need for consternation. Everything is under control.
Jan: [on the phone] Michael, last Friday, one of your employees attacked another employee in your office.
Michael Scott: It was a crime of passion, Jan. Not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

Michael Scott: In nature, there's something called the food chain. It is where the shark eats the little shark, and the little shark eats the littler shark. And so on and so on and so on, until you get down to the single-cell shark. So now, replace sharks with paper companies. And that is all you need to know about business.

Pam: Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full Internet access.
Kevin: Wait, what?

Dwight K. Schrute: What's- What's this?
Jim: Looks like a red wire.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh. That wasn't here before.
Jim: It's a computer, Dwight. I mean, computers have wires.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yours doesn't.
Jim: Doesn't it?
Dwight K. Schrute: No. It's going in a different direction than the other wires.
Jim: I'm really busy. I can't talk about this anymore.
[Dwight follows the red cable]
Phyllis: Dwight, get out of here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just shut up, Phyllis.
Stanley: What are you doing?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: I got 500 feet of red wire at a flea market up by Dunmore High School. Twenty bucks for the whole spool. Crazy. What a deal. Oh. [looking out the window and seeing Dwight climb a telephone pole] He'll be fine. I made it up there.