Oscar Quote #130

Quote from Oscar in Couples Discount

Andy: Hey, everybody, great job. [to Angela] Listen, we're a smidge behind on my paychecks.
Angela: Yes, well, as you know, we get paid on Fridays. And you haven't been here for 12 Fridays.
Andy: All right. Thank you very much. Looking good. Who's that little fella?
Angela: It's a bonus check. For you. From Wallace. Because the branch exceeded it's targets over the past quarter.
Andy: Wow, that's wonderful!
Oscar: A quarter's three months. That's how long you've been gone.

Rate

 ‘Couples Discount’ Quotes

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: God! I just don't know what we'd do. I mean, short of telling David Wallace that he was gone for three months.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I'd like to rat out Andy. Unfortunately, I have a bit of a boy-who-cried-wolf dynamic with David Wallace. Except, instead of a boy, I'm a man. And instead of a wolf, I cried genetically-engineered monster wolf.

Quote from Darryl

Oscar: Hi. We'd like a couples discount on a pair of foot massages.
Manager: No. No discount for two men. Two men are not a couple.
Oscar: We are together. Romantically.
Manager: Two men? [speaks to nail technician in Korean, both laugh; shows index fingers bumping together] Doesn't work. No discount.
Darryl: Oh, it works. Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. More love than your small mind can comprehend. And we have two disposable incomes and no kids. And we're taking our business elsewhere. [Oscar and Darryl walk out holding hands]

Quote from Meredith

Nellie: I'm not going to rat on him. No, Andy gave me a second chance. So, the least I could do is let somebody else rat on him. Meredith, why don't you?
Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no nark. Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never no nark. Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover?
Erin: Hey!
Pete: Meredith, that's plenty. All right? That's more than plenty. Why does no one stop her?