Michael Scott: Did you know that in Morocco it is common to exchange a small gift when meeting somebody for the first time? In Japan, you must always commit suicide to avoid embarrassment. In Italy, you must always wash your hands after going to the bathroom. This is considered to be polite.
Jim: Why are you telling us this?
Michael Scott: I am jetting off on an international business trip.
Jim: Where you going?
Michael Scott: To Can-ada.
Jim: Where is it?
Michael Scott: Canada.
Jim: Okay.

David: I was happy to send Michael on this trip. He's been feeling pretty down since we had to transfer Holly up to New Hampshire and... But this little perk really seemed to turn him around. And it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November.

Meredith: Pam failed art school.
Dwight K. Schrute: Huh. Wow. Doesn't surprise me.
Jim: Excuse me?
Dwight K. Schrute: Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two different directions.
Phyllis: Dwight, stop it.
Stanley: Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: What? Are there two suns?
Meredith: Come on.
Stanley: Oh, my God.
Dwight K. Schrute: Last I checked, that's not an office building in the Andromeda galaxy.
Jim: I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's totally unrealistic. No lines in the parking lot.

Michael Scott: My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client. And I have always been intrigued by all things international: the women, the pancakes, the Man of Mystery.

Michael Scott: A concierge is the Winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. This is a woman who has been trained in the fine art of fanciness and pleasure. And when you meet one, it is intoxicating. Just what the doctor ordered.

Michael Scott: Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. 'Cause I could be making more money as a doctor or a professional athlete. I think it's because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you even though you just tell him off right to his face over the phone, that's respect.

Michael Scott: Meredith, I'd like you to pretend that you are from Abu Dhabi.
Meredith: Hellooo.
Michael Scott: I am ashamed at your naked face. I must cover it with my jacket. You are now sexy in your culture.

David: [on the phone] Do you have your passport?
Michael Scott: I have my passport.
David: Got your per diem?
Michael Scott: I have my per diem. I already know what I am going to spend this on. I'm going to buy a sweater.
David: Michael, that's for your food.
Michael Scott: Well, I'll just- I'll use different money for that.

Michael Scott: And business class air, like a five-star hotel in the sky, nothing but the best. Actually, better than a five-star hotel 'cause you get a big, cushy seat and you sit in a row of people. And to eat, whatever the mind can imagine. I think I am going to have a filet with mushroom sauce.
David: [on the phone] Well, I'm just glad you're happy, 'cause, you know, I felt bad.
Michael Scott: Well, that is all the past.
David: And in terms of nightlife, when you get there, just ask the concierge.
Michael Scott: They have one of those?

Dwight K. Schrute: Do you have your money belt?
Michael Scott: I do. It is right here.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no, no, no, no. You want to wear that puppy right up on the breastbone like a bra.
Michael Scott: No, I don't want to wear a bra.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let me help you.
Michael Scott: Stop it! Stop it!
Dwight K. Schrute: You want to get robbed in a foreign country? I wash my hands of this.