Oscar: I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
Michael Scott: Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar. Really? Do you have a bag of baby poop in there too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. I'd like to see a menu, please.
Stewardess: I'm sorry, there are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott: Oh, okay. [looks back at Oscar] Doesn't matter, because I am going to take a nap. I think I'm going to use my complimentary blindfold. I will don it... And, oh, look at that. I can't see because I am in a- Ow!
Stewardess: And what would you like to drink?

Ryan: Just checking out where I'm gonna be pretty soon. When Pam gets back. Gonna be close quarters. Gonna be a lot of tension.
Kelly: For you. I'm with Darryl.
Ryan: This looks like where I'll probably do my push-ups every day.
Kelly: Is that supposed to impress me?

Andy: We are gonna find out where the action is, my friend. Where's the concierge?
Michael Scott: Yes, Wallace said there would be one of those.
Andy: Bingo. Follow moi, bro-sieur. What about a nice sushi place? Maybe a place with a view?
Concierge: Oh, Matsuki. That's a good one. Well, you may walk there if you wish or you may take the number 17 bus until 9:00. Other than that, you can take the taxi and the number is right there.
Michael Scott: Wow. I'm blown away by this. I, um- This is great. Thank you.
Andy: One final question. Where might you find yourself on a Winnipeg night like tonight?
Concierge: Oh, The Huntsman is good. Down here. The financial district.

Michael Scott: Excuse me, hello. Concierge Marie. Michael Scott. Good to see you again.
Concierge: Good to see you. This is my associate from Dunder Mifflin. Oscar Martinez.
Oscar: Nice to meet you.
Concierge: Oscar.
Michael Scott: Works in accounting. This is concierge Marie. Who works at our hotel. You look how you say, radiant tonight.
Concierge: Thank you.
Michael Scott: And it is how you say, a beautiful night.
Pam: Michael, why?
Michael Scott: She's foreign.

Andy: I don't care if you're gay, straight, engaged whatever. A guy needs intercourse.

Michael Scott: How about this one? It's Christmas Eve and everything is closed, and you need to get some dry cleaning done. Twelve o'clock, midnight. What do you do? What do you do? Come on. What do you do?
Concierge: Uh, Astro Cleaners on St. James Place is the only place that is open on that day.
Michael Scott: Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Oscar: If you don't mind me asking-
Andy: Anything. You can ask me anything. I'm your wingman.
Oscar: It's just that, I've sat next to Angela for a very long, very long time.
Andy: Right-o.
Oscar: How could anyone stand that woman?
Andy: What?
Oscar: What do you see in her? - What do you see in Angela?
Andy: What do I see in Angela?
Oscar: I wanna know.
Andy: I see through a hard exterior to a little jelly in the middle. She is teaching me to be a better person. And she's working really hard on that. And she has the softest skin I've ever seen and I can't wait to have sex with her.
Oscar: You haven't had sex?
Andy: No.
Oscar: Are you guys waiting to get married, or?
Andy: Honestly, I don't know what we're waiting for.
Oscar: Andy, something is wrong with that woman.
Andy: What is wrong with her?
Oscar: I'd like to know. You should call and ask. I'd like to know what's wrong with her.
Andy: I should call her and ask her. What is wrong with her?
Oscar: Do it. Call her. Oh my god, don't call her Andy. Don't call her.

Andy: That was fun last night.
Oscar: Yeah, it was.
Andy: You know, it's true what they say. Long Island Iced Teas are way stronger in Canada.
Oscar: Hey, thanks for trying to hook me up.
Andy: You kiddin' me? It's what I do. Get the whole nine 'Nards.

Kelly: This can't happen again.
Ryan: This has to happen again. Darryl can't happen again. Look at me. Do you want me to do more push-ups?
Kelly: Yeah.
Ryan: You have to break up with Darryl. I already typed out a text message for you. All you have to do is press "send."
Kelly: I don't know. I mean, it's well-written and all, I just-
Ryan: Has to be done. We'll press "send" together.
Kelly: My god. He's gonna kill us.
Ryan: I'd like to see him try.
Kelly: Oh. He says it's cool. He said, "it's cool!"
Ryan: That's all he wrote?
Kelly: That's all he wrote.
Ryan: Can I see it? Didn't you two date for a long time?
Kelly: Uh-huh. This is like a fairy tale!

Andy: Oh, man, she's so pissed. She's taking us back to first base.
Oscar: What's first base with Angela?
Andy: I get to kiss her forehead.