Todd: Here you go, folks. What do you think?
Frankie: [sighs] Well, it's not what we were expecting, but I-I guess it'll do. Mike?
Mike: Seems fine.
Todd: Great. If you need anything at all, just pick up that phone, and you will be connected to your own personal concierge. And you should have an incredible view of the fireworks going off over the lake right outside your window there. Have a great night.
[After Todd leaves, the family scream in excitement]

Axl: I call this room.
Sue: No, I get it 'cause I won the trip.
Mike: No, the masters will be sleeping in the master bedroom.
Frankie: This is it, guys. This is the turning point of our trip. I know I've said "turning point" before, but this is an unmistakable turning point, right? I mean, this has "turning point" written all over it. Now, we've only got one day left in the park, but it's gonna be a great one. We're gonna hit it early tomorrow after we have the best sleep of our lives.

Frankie: I cannot believe we slept the day away. Damn comfortable sheets.
Mike: No wonder rich people look so rested. It's 'cause they are.
Sue: Oh, I can't believe this is happening! We're gonna lose all the rides at the Magic Kingdom again!
Mike: We want to hit Epcot. There's no time for Magic Kingdom.
Sue: What? So, that's it? That's it for the Magic Kingdom? It's just off the table? Oh, I suppose Hollywood studios is off the table now, too, huh?! Oh, well, might as well just throw these papers away, hmm? Oh, and Animal Kingdom? Oh, I guess I don't need these anymore!
Frankie: Sue! Stop. We are not giving up. This is the one time in our lives we are not giving up. Now, come on. Let's go.
Brick: Hold the phone. I think I misplaced my hat. Nope. In my backpack again. You all look angry.

Frankie: Okay, this is it, people. This is not a drill. Rides, rides, rides. Oh, look! We're at the castle! Oh, let's take a family photo for the Christmas card.
Axl: [groans] Why are not walking?!
Frankie: [to a man] Excuse me. Could you take a picture for us? Just press the silver button. It sticks a little, so you're gonna have to hold it down. [to her family] Okay. We'll do one smiling and then a goofy one.
Axl: Why? Why are we wasting our valuable time taking a photo for a Christmas card that we all know will never be sent?
Frankie: Because I want to show everybody what a great time we're having! [camera shutter clicks] I'm sorry. Can you do that again?

Frankie: [v.o.] Meanwhile, back in America, after 24 hours and three visits to first aid... Sue tripped over her binder and munched it pretty hard... The kids we never had were finally having fun.

Frankie: [v.o.] And that night, Mike and I traveled the world. We had margaritas in Mexico, beer in Germany, and gelato in Italy.
Frankie: We should move here.
Mike: Italy?
Frankie: Orlando. I could clean people's teeth, and you could find some rocks to blow up.

Sue: There you are! You are not gonna believe it. Brick went on Splash Mountain!
Brick: Yep.
Axl: Ooh, hey. Hello, gelato.
Brick: Rides are way more fun than I thought. Turns out they're filled with signs, and all in different fonts!
Axl: Hey, come on. Let's all go on Mission: Space next.
Sue: Yes! Let's go!
Frankie: Well, we'll always have pretend Paris.