Frankie: Look at us having fun.
Mike: I know. We have personalities. Who knew?
Frankie: It's 'cause we're not using up all our energy on the kids.
Mike: I like us without kids.
Frankie: Mm. Me, too. Why did we have them, again?
Mike: I think it was mostly for tax purposes.
Frankie: Yeah. [they kiss]

Frankie: [v.o.] There's something comforting about a morning routine. It just sets the tone for the whole day.
Frankie: Get up! It's 7:30, people!
Sue: Okay, I get it!
Frankie: 7:30! Oh, come on. Why are you just standing there?
Brick: I'm taking a minute.
Mike: [o.s.] No more minutes!
Frankie: Did you pack your backpack last night before bed like I told you?
Brick: I told you I did. [Frankie throws Brick the empty backpack] Then what did I put yogurt in? [whispers] Yogurt.

Frankie: Axl? It's 7:37.
[When Frankie lifts the pile of clothes on Axl's bed and finds it empty, a swarm of moths fly out. Axl sits up on the floor, where he was sleeping under a pile of dirty clothes.]
Axl: Ew! Calm it down, Mom. I don't need a babysitter.
Frankie: No, you need an exterminator! Did I not tell you to clean this room? Things are hatching in this place.

Frankie: Axl!
Axl: I'm right here.
Frankie: Have you even started your book report on this? You know, you have practice later. You're not gonna have time-
Axl: Why are you all up in my business? God. It's like you're stalking me.
Frankie: No. Stalking is following someone you're a fan of. I'm not a fan of yours right now.

Frankie: Sue, where's your coat? You lost your coat again, didn't you?
Sue: I'm pretty sure I'll find it today.
Frankie: Yeah, well, you better, because I'm not buying you another one.
Mike: No more coats, and that goes for the rest of you, too.
Brick: What? What did we do?
Mike: I don't like the way this morning's going. Everyone keeps forgetting everything all the time. No more coats for anybody. And no more big drinks at the movies!
Axl: You can't do that. That-
Mike: Yes, I can.
Axl: That has nothing to do with this!

Frankie: I can't believe you forgot that coffeepot.
Brick: Is it really that surprising?
Frankie: You know what would be surprising? If you got in your PJ's and went to bed.
Frankie: Hey, no, no, no. No TV till you finish that book report.
Axl: What?
Mike: Don't talk back, or it's no TV ever.

Frankie: What are you doing?
Axl: I'm making eggs!
Frankie: You just ate four hamburgers seven minutes ago! Go read your book! [to Brick] Did I not tell you to get your PJ's on?
Brick: I never got my good night kiss.
Frankie: Everybody said they wanted to go to Bronco Burger, and I told you if we go to bronco burger, you lose your snuggle time. I'm not kissing anybody good night.
Mike: No more kisses.
Frankie: Go to bed!
Mike: You heard her. In fact, I don't like the way this night is going. Everybody go to bed.
Axl: What?!
Sue: Why do we have to go to bed?
Mike: Because I said so. From now on, everybody goes to bed right after dinner. And no more dessert ever!

Frankie: Why are we always so tired?
Mike: I can think of three reasons.
Frankie: Is it just me, or are they worse than usual lately?
Mike: Oh, they're worse, which is hard to believe, 'cause they weren't that great to begin with.
Frankie: I just feel like I'm on them constantly. They don't listen, they don't read their arms...
Mike: When I was a kid, your mom wrote something on your arm, you damn well read it.
Frankie: I think tomorrow, we have to sit them down and have a serious talk. I mean, look at us. We're exhausted. We look horrible. It's depressing.
Mike: We're sad, sad people.
Frankie: Don't get me wrong. I love our kids. I mean, I adore our kids, but- [kids bicker in their rooms] Go... to... bed!

Frankie: Is Celebrity Rehab really not coming back at all? They canceled it?
Mike: Yep.
Frankie: Oh, my God. I'm not just upset for us, but seriously, Mike, where are those celebrities gonna go? They need help.

Sue: Well, then, clearly, the situation isn't really working for any of us.
Brick: We feel like if you guys just give us a chance to do what we're supposed to do, on our own, you might get more of the results you're looking for.
Sue: And aren't you guys always talking about when you were kids, nobody was checking in on you every minute of the day? And you guys turned out fine.
Frankie: First of all, we did not turn out fine. Secondly, don't use our arguments against us.
Axl: Look, we've put a lot of thought into this. All we're asking is for you to go and consider what we've said and get back to us. That's all. You may go. [Frankie and Mike leave]
Brick: Hmm. I thought that went well.
Axl: Mm.
Sue: Yeah.