Mike Quote #1025
Quote from Mike in Fight or Flight
Mike: I'm not sending my son halfway around the world when he can't even figure out a way to take his socks off with his hands. I don't get you at all right now, Frankie.
Frankie: Look, it's hard for you to understand 'cause you're not a carefree person. It's not your fault. It's just the way you're made. You're a straight arrow. You know what my mom said when she first met you? You're like a young Henry Fonda.
Mike: Henry Fonda?
Frankie: What's wrong with Henry Fonda?
Mike: Oh, I was thinking of Henry Winkler.
Frankie: What's wrong with Henry Winkler? Look, the point is, you're Henry Fonda and me and Axl are... Errol Flynn. We're swashbucklers. We're carefree.
Mike: You know who else is carefree? Rusty.
Frankie: Yeah, but Axl's not like Rusty. He's a 23-year-old kid who just wants to have an amazing experience.
Mike: There's no such thing as a 23-year-old kid. He's a 23-year-old man who's got to stop putting off being a man and face reality.
Frankie: Yeah, well, reality bites the bazoonie.
Mike: Eh, well, the sooner he finds that out, the sooner he can get used to it. While you and Axl are off swashbuckling, it's my job in this family to keep our feet on the ground. I feel strongly about this, Frankie. You got to back me up here.
Frankie: Fine. If Axl's not going, maybe Kenny will invite me. [laughs] Just kidding. Boo, Europe.
The Middle Quotes
‘Fight or Flight’ Quotes
Quote from Axl
Mike: What are you doing?
Axl: I'm packing my nunchucks for the trip.
Mike: Aw, that's great. The boy genius is packing his nunchucks. No one is letting you on a plane with nunchucks.
Axl: I believe you're thinking of toothpaste.
Mike: I'm not thinking of toothpaste!
Axl: All the stuff you know about air travel is what you've seen on the TV, but I'm doing the real thing.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: What's going on?
Frankie: Don't talk, just listen to me. You can talk after I get it all out, but you have to let me finish first. I love you and I support you and I back you on a ton of stuff, stuff that I don't even agree with you about, like that whole thing with Ron Donahue and the giant spatula. And the caves... nobody wanted to do that, and all these years, you won't let anybody buy drinks or snacks at the movies. And I always say, "Your father's right. These prices are crazy." But here's the thing... you can't get the Reese's Peanut Butter four pack at the grocery store. You can only get it at the movies, and so you pay a premium. And I think that's fair, but it's important to you, so I'm fine smuggling in crappy snacks. But I'm not fine with this. Axl needs to go to Europe. I'm not talking about letting him go. I'm saying he needs to go. This might be the only chance he ever gets. He needs to go, Mike. I will happily eat off-brand peanut-butter cups for the rest of my life, but he needs to go.
Quote from Brick
Brick: I think I figured out what's causing my back problems. It's this chair you made me sit in.
Frankie: Made you sit in?
Mike: For years, you begged us to get you a normal chair.
Brick: Well, I have to listen to my body. Besides, I miss my old chair. I sat in it for as long as I can remember. It's like a trusted friend, a faithful comrade.
Mike: You don't have to write it a poem. It was a lawn chair.
Brick: Which happens to have been perfectly molded to my coccyx. [whispering] Coccyx. [normal voice] Wow, that's been a while.