Sue Quote #509
Quote from Sue in Stormy Moon
Reverend Tammy: Wow. Your mom got arrested. I can see how you might be feeling upset.
Sue: No, that's not really it.
Reverend Tammy: Well, maybe you're just concerned about how your mom's feeling right now.
Sue: No, no, not really. No, that's not... Okay, fine. Whatever.
Reverend Tammy: Look, Sue, at my sleepover jams, after we have Savior S'mores, I get to rap with a lot of girls that are in the exact same position as you. And it's a really hard age, because there's so much changing in your bodies and at school.
Sue: Wrong. Wrong again.
Reverend Tammy: I think maybe you should just lay it out there and and try talking to your mom about how you feel.
Sue: Do you? Do you think that's what I should do? Maybe if you knew me for longer than a day, you'd know that that is actually the exact opposite of what I should do. Because, you see, that's sort of a piece of, like, general advice for general teens, but it's not really very Sue specific.
Reverend Tammy: Um, maybe I could better express myself through a song. Let's see. [plays guitar and sings] Mary had one son born on Christmas day She was hoping for a daughter But she didn't have much say.
Sue: All right! I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm sorry, but singing advice doesn't really work for me. I'm just not the kind of person who responds to singing as a way of solving your problems. So... yeah.
The Middle Quotes
‘Stormy Moon’ Quotes
Quote from Frankie
Mike: All due respect, Judge, is this really what we're doing now? I mean, my wife was handcuffed and dragged down to the police station all because of a library book?
Judge: Mr. Heck, I judge the cases that are put before me. I don't get to pick the ones that light my fire.
Frankie: No, I'm sorry, but my husband is right. Do you know about all the break-ins at Joe's Subs? There are real crimes out there. Real crimes. Do we even know what happened to this book? It's not in our house. It could've been stolen. My point is the police should be focusing on real crime and not be worrying about some kid's book that none of us can even remember what it's about.
Judge: It says here it's Stormy Moon, $14.99 from Letter House Books. "The tantalizing tale of a handsome drifter who awakens the sensual desires of a lonely housewife. Stormy never dreamed when Lorenzo rebuilt her gazebo, he would also re-ignite her passion."
Frankie: Okay, I'll write you a check. Could you just wait a couple weeks to cash it?
Judge: Next case.
Quote from Axl
Sue: Okay, uh, no offense, Mom, but Orson is losing its number-one Christian role model, and all you can think about is a dumb book.
Frankie: You have a Dad, too. Why don't you tell him about any of this stuff? It wouldn't kill him to listen every once in a while, Mike.
Mike: Hey, I listen plenty, but there's only so many hours in the day, and I got to spend most of them at work so I can pay off things like overdue library books, Brick.
Brick: It's not my fault I can't find the book. I live with the messiest person ever, Axl.
Axl: Hey, if I'm messy, it's 'cause I'm crammed into half a room instead of having my own room in a mansion that we can't afford 'cause they put all our money into Sue's mouth!
Sue: Oh! And why do you think I need braces, Axl? It is because you drank all the milk that I was supposed to get to make my teeth strong and healthy. I never got one sip! You just drained Mom dry. That is why I have uncorrectable teeth and Brick is a foot shorter than he should be.
Axl: No! No! No! D-d-don't blame that on me. He's short 'cause he's hunched over a book all the time! That's why all of his growth spurts are all this way. He keeps going, he's gonna be an O.
Brick: Maybe I read all the time 'cause Dad never took an interest in me. He's too busy coddling the milk hoarder.
Frankie: You know what? This is very un-Brady. Blaming each other isn't getting us anywhere, so if we can't find the book, we'll just have to take Brick down there and throw ourselves on the mercy of the court. That.... That's a thing, right?
Quote from Frankie
Mike: Wait, they're arresting people for overdue library books now? That's ridiculous.
Frankie: You know what I find ridiculous? You all sitting here eating dinner while I rot in jail!
Axl: So, Mom went to the slammer. You all thought it'd be me first, but it was Mom. It's hilarious.
Frankie: Yes. It is hilarious. I don't know which part was the most hilarious. Maybe when they fingerprinted me, or maybe when they took my mug shot, or maybe it was all those hours spent sitting on a very cold bench waiting for my family to come and pick me up, 'cause there's no way they could possibly be sitting around the kitchen table, scarfing pizza, forgetting they even have a mother!
Axl: My phone's on vibrate.
Sue: I'm so sorry!
Mike: Battery's dead.
Brick: Hey, whatever happened to my phone?