Axl Quote #290

Quote from Axl in Valentine's Day III

Axl: Okay. I finished my speech on a life-changing event. I think I really nailed it, and I kind of want to practice on you guys.
Mike: Do I have to? [off Frankie's look] He didn't help me take the tree out.
Axl: Ahem. "My life-changing event, by Axl Heck. There was a moment not that long ago, when an event happened that changed my life, a moment that made me question everything I knew about myself to be true. I thought this girl was really hot, and I asked her out, and she said, 'no', and then I was like, 'Why? Am I not hot?' and I couldn't believe it, 'cause a lot of people think I'm hot, but maybe I wasn't hot. Maybe I was wrong about being hot. So I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself for, like, eight hours, asking myself, 'Am I hot or not hot?' And as I reflected on my reflection, I realized, 'You're the Ax-man. Of course you're hot.' So then, like, I asked her out again, "and she said, 'Yes.' The end."
Brick: Enjoy summer school.
Axl: Oh, this is all your fault! You know why I haven't had a life-changing event? 'Cause nothing in my life has happened. Nothing! I mean, we're not rich enough to travel. We're not poor enough to live out of our car. Mom's not on the Internet, stripping for money. And Dad doesn't get drunk and beat anyone.
Mike: Not yet.


 ‘Valentine's Day III’ Quotes

Quote from Sue

Frankie: Sue, are you okay?
Sue: No, not at all. All of a sudden, Matt's turned into the world's worst kisser.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his... his tongue... into... my mouth. Oh, my God. What is that? Who does that?
Frankie: Well...
Sue: I can't help but feel bad for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue have in kissing? What should I do? I mean, I don't want to embarrass him, but he has to be told. [gasps] Wait. I think I saw something on on how to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser. I'm gonna go check it out.
Frankie: [v.o.] I really need to talk to Sue more.

Quote from Axl

Axl: [recording] This is my brother, and he's been very sick for a long time, with a horrible disease. Despite all the "Walks for Hope" and "Fun Runs," there is, as yet, no cure. [Brick coughs] This has been such a life-changing event for me, his brother, Axl Heck, Mrs. Johnson's sixth-period English.
Brick: It's the not knowing that's the hard part. Oh, and the dying. Actually, they're both hard.
Axl: I have to give my brother all these medicines every day.
[shot of a table containing over-the-counter products like Tums, Gas-X, Pepto Bismol, Midol, Bengay, Flintstones Gummies and Pez candy]
Brick: If I could give any advice, it'd be live, love, laugh.
Axl: Some would call it burden to care for a brother so sick with this horrible disease. I call it life-changing.
Brick: I just hope I can one day frolic in the sea. That's all. One day. In the sea.
Axl: So friggin' life-changing.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: Hey, what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day? Maybe I could write my paper about that.
Frankie: That'd be one sad story... 'Cause we're not doing anything, right?
Mike: I didn't plan anything. I-I guess I could plan something. I will... if you want me to.
Frankie: I don't know. I guess, if you want to.
Mike: Do you want to go to dinner or something?
Frankie: Nah, lot of people, long wait... Movie?
Mike: We'll fall asleep. We could do that at home for free.
Frankie: How about we just stay home? We know we love each other. We don't need to shower and put on control top pantyhose to prove it.
Mike: And since it's Valentine's, I can bring home a bucket of chicken... Unless you want candy or flowers or something.
Frankie: Eh, waste of money. Just the chicken's good. We'll eat in our sweats and fall asleep in front of the TV.
Mike: Sounds like a date.
Frankie: Wait. You're gonna want to watch sports.
Mike: Separate rooms?
Frankie: Done. Bucket of chicken, sweats, TV, separate rooms. [they high-five] Yeah, ooh, we still got it.