Brick Quote #133
Frankie: Okay, Brick, here's the thing. Lying is absolutely 100% bad. It's just that sometimes you do it to protect people that you care about. Like when somebody gets a bad haircut, You still say, "Nice haircut."
Brick: Well, if you didn't want me to get a candy bar, why couldn't you just say no?
Brick: But why not? But why not? But why not? But why not? But why not?
Frankie: [to Brick] It's just, sometimes a little lie makes life easier. You get it?
Mike: Whoa. Why aren't you ready? What's going on? Why is all this water on the floor?
Brick: I found a spider under the porch. It was a golden silk orb weaver, so I brought it in to show mom, but I accidentally dropped it in the tub, and she freaked out, so I tried to get it out before it drowned, but it was too late, so I flushed it, which means if you want to see it, now you can't, because it's gone. Nice haircut.
Frankie: [v.o.] I didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified. My son had lied for me. I was in the clear. Except I forgot one little thing. Brick had a tell.
Brick: [whispers] I'm lying.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, men live by an unspoken code. You shake, not hug. You never pay to have something done you can do yourself, and you don't go to the doctor unless... Well, you don't go to the doctor.
Mike: I'm not going to the doctor.
Frankie: Come on. Just go in for a physical. Look, they're raising our deductible next month, so if you're gonna get a horrible disease, get it now while it's still cheap.
Mike: Hey, if something comes along, I can take care of it myself.
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike's school of medicine was not the same as mine.
Mike: My heart just stopped. Oh, there it goes.
Mike: When did this mole get here? [cuts it off with a knife]
Mike: Shoulder popped out again. [bangs it against the wall] Aah! That's better.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Okay, wait. You think I need diapers? Oh, this is just... Oh, my God. How old do you think I am?
Stock Boy: Is it okay if don't answer that?
Frankie: Look, I might sneeze-pee once in a while, but I don't need diapers. Do you see any gray there? No! That's 100% chestnut brown.
Stock Boy: That's over in aisle 12.
Frankie: I mean, come on. These are for... [puts on glasses] Geriatric bladder control. Do I look geriatric? I could easily have a baby. I choose not to. These are for old, creaky people who are way older than me. [to an old woman] Not you. I'm sorry. I-I'm a little flustered. I have a daughter with a dripping baby.
Old Woman: I understand. I'm a grandma, too.
Frankie: I'm not a grandma! Just take me to the diapers... For babies. Which I could have!
Quote from Brick
Brick: Hello, mother. I just took a walk around the block with wet hair and swallowed a watermelon seed at lunch. Pneumonia? No. Watermelon growing in my belly? No. Quite the tangled web, isn't it? [whispers] Tangled web.
Frankie: Yeah, but that pneumonia thing is real! You just got lucky.
Quote from Hecks on a Train
Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.
Quote from Mommapalooza
Sue: Okay, so, what do we do? Dad didn't give us enough drywall to fix a hole this big. He's gonna freak out.
Brick: I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be really rough for you.
Sue: Me? You're the one who did this.
Brick: Well, you're the older sister who left her little brother to do major home repair on his own. Besides, if Dad flips out, I can just play the quirk card. I shrug, I look confused, throw in a few whoops and whispers, lick something if I have to... I'm off scot-free.
Sue: Oh, my God. You're diabolical.
Brick: I am not diabolical. [whispers] Diabolical. [normal voice] It's so easy. [whispers] It's so easy. [normal voice] Okay, that one wasn't planned.
Quote from Flirting with Disaster
Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...