TV Quotes

Frankie: [v.o.] Sue was gonna do a little cleaning up of her own, and at the top of her list... get rid of her brother.
Sue: [TV shuts off] Axl, that's my robe.
Axl: [groans] Fine.
Sue: Ew! No, don't take it off! Ugh! What are you doing here?
Axl: I'm waiting for Lexie to get back from psychology class, and then we might go out or something. Oh, that reminds me... got to pick up a new lady razor, 'cause, you know, between my beard and your wire-brush leg hairs, it is trashed.
Sue: Look, I believe I was very cool about you dating my best friend, but I didn't know it'd mean that you'd be here all the time even when she is not here.
Axl: Um, our dad is not paying the rent. Lexie's dad is. So whatever Lexie wants, Lexie gets. And Lexie wants all this, and Lexie's dad wants me to have your chips.
Sue: I can't take it anymore! I am sick of you!
Axl: Oh, my God. Sue, back in the old days, they used to live with their siblings and their grandparents and multiple generations. You should embrace this. And truth is, as the eldest son, I could have married you off to some old geezer for a couple of goats, and this place would be mine. You should be thanking me for letting you stay.
Sue: What's your point?
Axl: Give me your Netflix password.
Sue: Oh! That's it! [groans] No more! I'm out of here. [scoffs] And put that drink on a coaster!

Sue: [scoffs] Don't you get it, Brick? This is about more than the pool. They are trying to turn this into an adult house.
Brick: What do you mean?
Sue: I mean, we're getting older, and Mom and Dad are smelling the barn on parenting and looking to phase us out. Our yearbooks, inspirational posters, Planet Nowhere books... you think they're gonna keep all that? No.
Brick: They wouldn't do that.
Sue: Wouldn't they? The other day, I heard Mom complain about the chipped bowls. She wanted to get all new ones, and then Dad said, and I quote, "Wait till the kids are gone."
Brick: I love our chipped bowls.
Sue: Well, you can kiss 'em goodbye. Don't actually kiss them. You'll cut your lips. But this is how it starts... You leave to go to college, and you come back, and poof... all the jigsaw puzzles are gone.
Brick: But it isn't Christmas without saying that we're gonna do the jigsaw puzzle and then not doing it.
Sue: It happens, Brick. Remember Grandma's doll room? That used to be Aunt Janet's room. [Brick gasps] That's right. Before you know it, your room becomes Dad's TV room, and my room becomes Mom's TV room, and then we're all married with kids, but do we have rooms to cram our families into? No! We have to stay at the Ramada Inn because our rooms are filled with recliner chairs and hand weights. This isn't about nostalgia anymore, Brick. This is about our very survival. They can't wait to get rid of us.
Brick: Well, they've never been big fans. Look, Sue, you're overreacting. Maybe you need to cool off. Perhaps a dip in the pool would do the trick.

Mike: What's your problem?
Axl: You're still treating me like a kid! I don't need you to tell me how to do things anymore. You're telling me all the time. You're making me nuts. And I know I'm the younger lion and I'm challenging you and we're supposed to "lock horns"...
Mike: Lions don't have horns.
Axl: You don't need to tell me that lions don't have horns!
Mike: Well, you just said...
Axl: I know lions don't have horns. I just want to drive my own car.
Mike: Look, I'm older than you. I know you think you know best, but there's still a lot more you have to learn, and it's my job to teach you. It's been my job your whole life!
Axl: Okay, so, is that how it's gonna be, like, forever? 'Cause you'll always be older than me, and Grandpa Big Mike will always be older than you, and there's a guy in Jasper who's like 103. He'll always be older than all of us. Maybe he should drive us home.

Axl: Hello, summer! Goodbye, pants. I will see you in September.