Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...

Male Voice: [on film] [action music plays] Coming, Summer 2016. Based on the best-selling series that swept the nation... [music stops]
Man: [on film] Silligans.
Male Voice: [on film] David S. Rosenthal's... Planet Nowhere.
Brick: They're doing a movie about Planet Nowhere!
Male Voice: [on film] Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon. Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran. And introducing Montana Steinberg as Princess Kalakare. [lasers blasting]
Kalakare: [on film] The Vernegos will prevail.
Brick: Princess Kalakare's 132 years old! That kid's not a day over 11! They can't do this! You can't do this!
Mike: Brick, it's not like the couch. You got to sit down.
Brick: Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

Brick: The Silligans come from a drier planet and are a rock-type people, whereas the Vernegos' habitat is a lusher, forest area...
Sue: Brick, enough! You have been droning on and on since we left. I am trying to concentrate. Aunt Edie's car is 3 feet wider than any car I've ever driven.
Brick: Sorry. Well, do you wanna listen to a book on tape?
Sue: Please. [tape rattling]
Brick: [on tape] But Soran would have to navigate the Asteroid belts of Norox without a working Pernovian laser. [whispers] Pernovian laser.
Sue: Is that you?
Brick: Uh-huh! I recorded the entire series on tape. I play them when my eyes are too tired from reading.
Brick: [on tape] As professor Faxon's prophecy foretold, Soran's quest...

Sue: Oh, my God. Did you see the guy dressed as Professor Faxon's robot? He had on working lights! I wonder if he had to plug in during lunch. Hmm. Hey, you're being kind of quiet. Are you thinking about your key?
Brick: Yeah, sorta.
Sue: But... I don't get it. Didn't you have fun today?
Brick: It was one of the best days I've had in a long time.
Sue: So what's the problem?
Brick: It's you.
Sue: Me?
Brick: Yeah. Sue, today was amazing. I know you were forced to take me, but still, we hung out together, you talked to me. I mean, you understand Planet Nowhere now. I feel like someone in this family finally gets me, and it's right when you're about to leave for college.
Sue: Aw, Brick!
Brick: What's it gonna be like when you're gone?
Sue: Hey, I am gonna miss you tons. But you know what? You'll come visit me at college. I know Axl has the whole "no relatives" policy at his place, but mine is gonna be the opposite. You have to visit me.
Brick: Really?
Sue: Does a Silligan need iron oxide to survive?
Brick: [on tape] And with the Vernegos' triumph and the planet orbiting towards a new moon, Princess Kalakare bade goodbye to her home world, knowing not only would her loved ones miss her, but the entire planet as well, and they would all look forward to her return.

Mike: All right, uh, "How many feet do you have to signal ahead of turning? 50, 75, or 100?"
Tag: Fif... [Mike tilts his head] Sev... [Mike shakes his head] 100.
Mike: Right.
Tag: Ha! We got that one locked. [chuckles]
Mike: "When you see a pedestrian using a white and red-tipped cane, they are usually..."
Tag: A gay. [off Mike's look] What? What do they want to be called these days?
Mike: It's a blind person.
Tag: Blind and gay? It's gotta be tough.