Axl Quote #1088
Quote from Axl in The Par-Tay
Axl: Ugh! This weekend's gonna suck! I'm gonna have to take Brick to the museum and the library and a bunch of other nerd-tractions.
Hutch: Is he gonna want to read stuff to me? 'Cause I don't like being read to.
Axl: Look, I couldn't say no. The kid worships me, man. I mean, I'm, like, the only cool person in the family. And after this weekend, he's got to go back there. It's sad. It's like when Tarzan got to meet fancy people that eat with forks, and then he had to go back to the jungle and live with the apes.
Hudson: Yeah, but Tarzan wanted to go back to the jungle, so the apes are the cool ones.
Axl: Well, then, I'm the apes. Either way, I should send him home with some of my old hair product as a parting gift. [knock on door] Ugh! All right, Brick, Kenny's at a convention, so you can sleep in his chair/bed and/or table. And, uh, first up on the dork tour... I heard the science library's doing something sciency.
Brick: Oh, I'm not here for libraries. I am here to par-tay.
The Middle Quotes
‘The Par-Tay’ Quotes
Quote from Brick
Brick: I actually think we can liven things up a little here. Might be time to crank the Como.
Axl: What?! No! Drugs are not cool! Stay in school!
Brick: I'm talking about Perry Como.
Axl: Perry Como, Crystal Meth... giving them first names doesn't take away the danger! What is happening to you?!
Brick: Didn't you ever listen to Aunt Edie's old records?
Axl: God, no!
Brick: Are you kidding me? Henry Mancini, Andy Williams... That's a boss bunch of cats in that collection. And Perry Como is the bossest of them all. He'd really give this party the kick it needs. [Hutch plays Perry Como's "Papa Loves Mambo"] Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. Just try and not move. You can't.
Hudson: This is not how I thought the party was gonna go, but I'm not mad at it.
Quote from Brick
Axl: All right, Brick. [music stops] I need to sleep.
Hudson: Me too. I'm really tired. So I don't need no one to read to me.
Brick: Sleep? [scoffs] Is this college or a nursing home? Come on! Let's go do something! Let's Saran Wrap someone's room. Let's do the walk of shame!
Axl: Yeah, that doesn't mean what you think it does.
Brick: Let's pull an all-nighter!
Axl: That just means staying up all night studying.
Brick: Come on! I'm up for anything! [chuckles] I'm at college, man. I want to bite into the grapefruit of life and let the juices drip down my chin, and then immediately put on hydrocortisone because I'm prone to eczema.
Axl: I'm tired! I just want to sleep. It's 2:00 a.m.!
Brick: Hey, it's 5:00 somewhere.
Hudson: Mnh-mnh... that's something else that doesn't mean what you think it does.
Quote from Brick
Axl: All right, look, I just broke up with April. And then Devin and Cassidy showed up. The universe is telling me to just hold off for now. You know, maybe I just got to hang out with my bros. And my bro. [snaps fingers]
Brick: Well, if you're not ready, you're not ready. But let me share a little story with you. There's a secondhand shop near school that I used to go to every day, and they had this zebra bookmark...
Axl: Write down "syrup pocket." I'll know what it means. Sorry. Continue.
Brick: Every time I'd go in the shop, I'd feel the bookmark. I loved it. The contrast between the black and white, the touch of the synthetic hair. And every day, I'd say, "Tomorrow, I'm gonna come back and buy it." But then I went in there one day, and it was gone.
Axl: If this is your super-not-subtle way of asking me to buy you a bookmark, it's not working.
Brick: Uh, I guess the analogy is clearer to me because I like my women like I like my bookmarks... long and skinny. You've seen Cindy. Growl!
Axl: I'm uncomfortable.