Sue Quote #666
Quote from Sue in Food Courting
Sue: Howdy, Edwin. Can I talk to you when you have a second?
Edwin: I've been waiting for you to come to me, Sue. Or should I say "Sue-y"?
Sue: Oh, my God. You know? But we met behind a plant.
Edwin: I've got eyes and ears all over this place. My physics teacher moonlights at Orange Julius.
Sue: [sighs] Okay, I'm sorry, but this is just a really good opportunity for me. I mean, I don't want to leave Spudsy's. I'm happy here. We're a family. And I love all my customers. But the truth is I have to do what's best for me, so I am giving you my two weeks' notice. Is that how much time you're supposed to give? Oh, would a month be better? Oh, God. I don't know what I'm doing!
Edwin: I'm not surprised Chop Suey U.S.A. is trying to poach you. You're a natural-born food server, and I am not gonna give you up without a fight. Mostly because I don't have time to train someone new. The new Mortal Kombat just came out. So, if Chop Suey wants to play hardball, I guess I'm gonna have to play hardball. How does a nickel raise sound?
Sue: An hour?
Edwin: Okay, sure. And I'll even sweeten the deal. From now on, you'll be reporting to work as the assistant manager of condiment distribution.
Sue: [squeaks]
The Middle Quotes
‘Food Courting’ Quotes
Quote from Brad
Brad: I'm sorry, Sue. I just have to get this off my chest. I'm gonna confess that I'm a little envious I didn't get tapped.
Sue: Oh, Brad. No, it's where you work. It is really hard to make your mark at The Great Hot Dog Adventure. I mean, how are you supposed to shine when you're only working with three condiments?
Brad: I know! I did graduate magna cum relish from hot-dog college. How does that not put me on the radar at Chop Suey U.S.A.?
Sue: I didn't even think about that. Sue-y. It has my name in it. Ooh, it's like a sign!
Brad: You know, I bet it's because I dropped that gallon of mustard. Everybody saw it. It's those damn free hand-lotion samples at Crabtree & Evelyn. How can you not try them? Anyway, this is about you. Go on.
Sue: As much as it scares me to go into international cuisine... You know, I got lean in... to Chinese. I am gonna work at Chop Suey U.S.A.
Brad: Oh! Oh! And you get to wear the polo shirts with the golden dragon coiled around the American flag. [Sue gasps] I am officially peanut butter and jealous.
Quote from Sue
Sue: It's just so hard to know what to do. Not only that, I said I would tell her by tonight. I mean, of course I am flattered to be wooed. Who wouldn't be? And then there's the salary... they're offering four figures.
Brad: What?
Sue: $10 an hour.
Quote from Mike
Mike: No, it's a tradition. When I turned 21, my dad told me to come help him move some manure. But when I got there, he took me out for a beer instead.
Axl: Why didn't you just ask me to have a beer?
Mike: 'Cause that's not the thing.
Axl: I don't get it.
Mike: You think you're coming home to work, and then you don't. You know, it's... it's a surprise. It's whimsical.
Axl: But you don't like surprises.
Mike: I know. And I'm not liking them a hell of a lot right now.
Axl: Hold on. So you didn't actually move manure?
Mike: No. There was no manure. But when my dad told me to come help him move manure, I damn well ran over there to help him move some manure. I didn't say I would and then send somebody else.
Axl: Was there or wasn't there manure?!
Mike: There wasn't! The point is, if there was manure, I would have moved it.