Chidi Quote #178
Quote from Chidi in Mondays, Am I Right?
Chidi: I don't hate you at all. I mean, you were dealt a pretty tough hand. You essentially had to raise yourself, but you were still more confident and self-possessed at 13 than I ever was. I mean, seeing your whole life all laid out like this, it's... it's remarkable.
Eleanor: Okay, so you still love me. You're still horny for me, blah, blah, blah. Then what's wrong?
Chidi: I'm not good enough for you. I mean, look at my file. It is 1/10 as long as yours because I did nothing with my life.
Eleanor: Yeah, we're very different, but we already knew that. Why are you freaking out? You're cool, confident Chidi now, remember?
Chidi: I am confident about my feelings for you. I am also confident that I am a damn drip, and you deserve to be with someone who's not. Like Nicolas, that fireman that you dated back in 2009. He rescued people from burning buildings, and he was so hot.
Eleanor: Oh, Nicolas the fireman. Mmm. Nicolas. I can't argue with you on that one, but... I love you. There is no one else I want to be with... At least, not forever. I mean, if Frida Kahlo wants to make out with me in Heaven, then you and I are gonna have a conversation, but if you read my file and you're good, then we're good. Unless there's something in your file that would freak me out, like you kept out a library book past the due date.
Chidi: Well, I moved, and it got buried in the bottom of a box. I put the library in my will to make up for it.
Eleanor: No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Relax. Let's get back to work.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Mondays, Am I Right?’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Michael: Okay, Janet's passing out the file on Tahani Al-Jamil, who volunteered to be today's test subject. So, take a look, and then we'll get going.
Tahani: They don't seem very enthused. This may be a tougher challenge than I thought, like when I tried to teach Taylor Swift how to dance. The longest four years of my life.
Quote from Eleanor
Eleanor: Oh, no. I knew it. You hate me now. What did it? The time I was subpoenaed by the Make-A-Wish Foundation?
Chidi: No.
Eleanor: Oh, I know what it was. In my defense, I didn't realize he was my boyfriend's twin until halfway into hooking up with him, and at that point, you know, it's a sunk cost.
Quote from Jason
Chidi: While Michael is trying to get the Architects trained, we're supposed to find the first 1,000 humans to take the test. People who will just sail right through it so we can build confidence in the system. So what are the criteria? Should it be people with the highest point totals or overcame the greatest hardship?
Jason: I think we just start with the gimmes, the very best people who ever lived. So Evel Knievel, Kool-Aid Man, Mini-Me, DJ Jazzy Jeff... [gasps] A genie so we can wish for infinity people.
Chidi: Jason...
Jason: Sure, throw me in there, too. Also, Fat Bastard, the World's Most Interesting Man, Pikachu, Karate Kid, Wendy from Wendy's, Grumpy Cat, and the GPS lady that tells you where to drive... [sighs] Feels like a good stopping point. Let's call it a day, come back fresh tomorrow. Great job, everyone.