Chidi: I don't hate you at all. I mean, you were dealt a pretty tough hand. You essentially had to raise yourself, but you were still more confident and self-possessed at 13 than I ever was. I mean, seeing your whole life all laid out like this, it's... it's remarkable.
Eleanor: Okay, so you still love me. You're still horny for me, blah, blah, blah. Then what's wrong?
Chidi: I'm not good enough for you. I mean, look at my file. It is 1/10 as long as yours because I did nothing with my life.
Eleanor: Yeah, we're very different, but we already knew that. Why are you freaking out? You're cool, confident Chidi now, remember?
Chidi: I am confident about my feelings for you. I am also confident that I am a damn drip, and you deserve to be with someone who's not. Like Nicolas, that fireman that you dated back in 2009. He rescued people from burning buildings, and he was so hot.
Eleanor: Oh, Nicolas the fireman. Mmm. Nicolas. I can't argue with you on that one, but... I love you. There is no one else I want to be with... At least, not forever. I mean, if Frida Kahlo wants to make out with me in Heaven, then you and I are gonna have a conversation, but if you read my file and you're good, then we're good. Unless there's something in your file that would freak me out, like you kept out a library book past the due date.
Chidi: Well, I moved, and it got buried in the bottom of a box. I put the library in my will to make up for it.
Eleanor: No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Relax. Let's get back to work.