Michael Quote #207
Quote from Michael in The Snowplow
Michael: You just gave me this crazy idea. It's so crazy, it just might... fail. It'll probably fail. But it also might work! I open the door to the afterlife. You keep a lookout, while I break into the Judge's chamber and reset the timeline on Earth. Then we do it all over again! But correctly. We won't wait a year to get them all together again. We'll get the study going right away!
Janet: Do you even know how to reset the timeline on Earth?
Michael: No. I'm assuming that there's, you know... a knob or a... or a button or, you know, maybe you... maybe you unplug it and then plug it right back in? I-I don't... There's gotta be a way!
Janet: Michael, before you do this...
Michael: No! No more waiting. This is all we have, Janet. We have Chidi and Eleanor and Tahani and Jason and that is it. If we can't get them enough afterlife points to get them into the Good Place then there's no point in us even being here. We have to try.
Janet: OK. Let's do this.
Michael: O-OK.
[After Michael makes a portal appear, he and Janet get ready to walk through it.]
Eleanor: What the hell is that?
Michael: Oh! Hey, guys! What are you doing down here?
The Good Place Quotes
‘The Snowplow’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Simone: Jason? You OK there, mate?
Jason: No. I have to watch the Jaguar games alone, on my computer at like three in the morning on Mondays. It's so annoying. Everything here is in a... I don't know how to describe it, like... a different zone of time. No, that sounds stupid. A different clock land.
Quote from Simone
Eleanor: Why did I do that?
Simone: OK, here's my guess. As humans evolved, the first big problem we had to overcome was "me versus us". Learning to sacrifice a little individual freedom for the benefit of a group. You know, like sharing food and resources so we don't starve or get eaten by tigers, things like that.
Eleanor: OK, with you so far.
Simone: The next problem to overcome was "us versus them". Trying to see other groups, different from ours, as equals. That one, we're still struggling with. It's why we have racism and nationalism, and... why fans of Stone Cold Steve Austin hate fans of The Rock.
Eleanor: No, we hate The Rock because he went Hollywood and Stone Cold keeps it real, so The Rock's fans are the real jabronis. Point made. Keep going.
Simone: Well, what's interesting about you is... I don't think you ever got past the "me versus us" stage. I mean, have you ever been part of a group that you really cared about?
Eleanor: I was in the Girl Scouts.
Simone: Really?
Eleanor: Technically, I joined under a fake name because I wanted to steal a bunch of cookies.
Simone: See? The Brainy Bunch is basically the first group that became part of your self-identity and now that's breaking up, you're feeling this new kind of loss. And you're scared of going back to being alone. I mean, that's just my guess. The other possible medical diagnosis is that you're just a bit of a dick.
Quote from Janet
Cashier: G'day, how can I help you?
Michael: One scratch-off lottery ticket, please!
Janet: Oh! Not that one. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. [quietly to Michael] These tickets were printed before we got down here. I know which ones are the winners! [to the cashier] And... stop! That's the one. Good ol' lucky number 186 from the bottom!
Cashier: Here you go.
Janet: Also! That bathroom key that you lost nine months ago, slid under the register. And the woman that you think is your aunt is actually your mum. OK, bye!