Shawn Quote #50
Quote from Shawn in You've Changed, Man
Shawn: Oh, hey, guys. Just smashing some stuff. What's up?
Eleanor: Listen, demon, we know how much you want us to lose, so we volunteer to lose permanently if you agree to let the Judge establish a real Medium Place. You can torture the four of us... forever.
Shawn: Really?
Jason: Yeah. This is a classic trolley problem. One of your boys sets off a stink bomb on the trolley, causing a commotion so the rest of the group can pickpocket people as they run off the train.
Chidi: That's very wrong, but in a roundabout way, you kind of got where you needed to be.
Tahani: I'll even give you a head start on my torture. I cannot pull off the mod look.
Michael: You can take me, too. I couldn't live with myself knowing you four were down there without me.
Shawn: Wow. This is a toughy. On one hand, I would love to get some spiders in those buttholes. On the other hand, there would be billions of buttholes going completely un-spidered. How about this? Everyone who dies go to the Bad Place... and I get to torture all of you.
The Good Place Quotes
‘You've Changed, Man’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Jason: Tell me about it. I once went to jail for a week just because I stole a hot dog. Well, a hot-dog-shaped car. I stole the Wienermobile.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Now all we have to do is convince Shawn.
Tahani: I'll take the lead. If I can convince Dr. Ruth not to sue Bruno Mars over songwriting credit on "Uptown Funk," I can handle this.
Eleanor: Okay, you gotta tell me that story on the way.
Quote from Judge
Judge: Ugh. All Janet voids are nothing, but Neutral Janet voids are, like, the most nothing.
Janet: Judge, please, please don't cancel Earth.
Judge: Why not? The system's broken. You guys proved it. I just want to reboot the whole thing, and go back to my chambers. I am on season three of Justified, and can I just tell you, it is so good. I, like, binged all of season two in a day.
Janet: Think of all the amazing human achievement you'd be eliminating. The works of William Shakespeare. The Pyramids. Timothy Olyphant.
Judge: Ooh, that one stings. There's, like, 50 gallons of man in a 10-gallon hat. I'm, like, oh! Look, I'm the freaking Judge, and I made a freaking ruling, and it's gonna freaking happen, soon as I find the freaking clicker thing. All right, what do I search for? "Humanity eraser button garage door opener thingy Judge." [groans]