Shawn: Oh, hey, guys. Just smashing some stuff. What's up?
Eleanor: Listen, demon, we know how much you want us to lose, so we volunteer to lose permanently if you agree to let the Judge establish a real Medium Place. You can torture the four of us... forever.
Shawn: Really?
Jason: Yeah. This is a classic trolley problem. One of your boys sets off a stink bomb on the trolley, causing a commotion so the rest of the group can pickpocket people as they run off the train.
Chidi: That's very wrong, but in a roundabout way, you kind of got where you needed to be.
Tahani: I'll even give you a head start on my torture. I cannot pull off the mod look.
Michael: You can take me, too. I couldn't live with myself knowing you four were down there without me.
Shawn: Wow. This is a toughy. On one hand, I would love to get some spiders in those buttholes. On the other hand, there would be billions of buttholes going completely un-spidered. How about this? Everyone who dies go to the Bad Place... and I get to torture all of you.