Michael Quote #256
Quote from Michael in Janet(s)
Janet: You need to hurry. My molecular essence is fragmenting, and it's giving me the worst headache.
Michael: Okay, here's a question. If Doug Forcett's not getting in, who is? Let's look at one more file. Someone who... who's gotten into the Good Place this year.
Neil: All right, why don't we look at... No one. No one got in.
Michael: No one's gotten in for a year?
Neil: Correct.
Michael: How about the last three years?
Neil: All right, uh, boo-doo-doo... Uh, no one.
Michael: When was the last time someone got in?
Neil: The last time someone got enough points to get into the Good Place was... 521 years ago.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Janet(s)’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Neil: Well, I've got to run. We're having a little thing in the break room for Marisol's birthday. She turning 39,000,000 again. So, if there's nothing else...
Michael: "If there's nothing else"? Neil, be logical. Not one Good Place resident in over 500 years? Not Jonas Salk? Not Harriet Tubman? Not one single Golden Girl? The Bad Place has hacked your system!
Neil: No, it hasn't. How dare you? Frankly, I'm beginning to resent your tone, sir. If you've got a problem, then go to the Good Place and take it up with the Committee. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the break room, because there's cake over there, and if I don't move quickly, Erika will get the last corner piece. Good day, sir!
Quote from Eleanor
Jason: That was awesome! I want to go again!
Eleanor: Where are we?
Michael: We're in the Good Place.
Eleanor: No offense, dude, but you have told us a lot of lies in the last 300 years. So, seriously, where the fork are we? Fork. Shirt. Ash hole. [gasps] Holy forking shirtballs. We're in the Good Place!
Quote from Jason
Chidi-Janet: This is nuts. We're in a void in the body of a white lady.
Eleanor-Janet: Not a lady.
Tahani-Janet: Not a lady, darling.
Jason-Janet: Well, we are white. Let's all say white people things! Billy Joel. I found it on Etsy. There was nowhere to park. Did you refill the Brita?