Michael Quote #145
Michael: Things are falling apart here. Chidi... I understand the ethics involved, but we need to stop that wedding. We break up Jason and Tahani. Janet stops being sad. Derek goes away.
Chidi: Fine, but... [Michael and Eleanor groan] There is something called the Doctrine of Double Effect. In order to remain ethical, you can't just go into this with the intention of killing Derek. Your only goal has to be to spare Jason and Tahani from future pain by filling them in on Jason's past.
Michael: No, I got you, I got you. So, it's like... ethically we should tell Jason that he used to be married to Janet, and it sure would be terrible if that ultimately led to Derek's death, wink.
Chidi: No, the winking is bad. You should not be winking or saying the word "wink."
Michael: Okay. We really need to kill... We really need to kill any suspicion that I want to murder Derek. Boom!
Eleanor: Wink.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Derek’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Michael: Hey, guys.
Tahani: [gasps] Michael, you frightened me. Jason's making me watch this horror film about two ex-convicts who try to rob and murder a neglected child. [Home Alone plays]
Quote from Jason
Tahani: I hereby pronounce you King Jason.
Jason: Dope. Where did you learn how to do this?
Tahani: The Hertfordshire Academy for Expressionless Girls. It was a finishing school I attended before Oxford, and then, of course, the Sorbonne. Do you know what, I don't think I ever asked you were educated.
Jason: I went to Lynyrd Skynyrd High School in Northeast Jacksonville, which was really just a bunch of tugboats tied together.
Tahani: Didn't you get seasick?
Jason: No, sorry... they were tied together in a junk yard. It wasn't a very good school. For most of my classes, we just sold dirty magazines door-to-door.
Tahani: You know, Jason, every single detail about your life is... deeply disturbing. And yet, I envy you. I was never allowed to goof off. Never even had a friend I could just be myself around.
Jason: Maybe I can be that friend. Or your husband.
Tahani: [chuckles] Okay, stop it.
Jason: No, no, no, I'm serious. Will you marry me?
Quote from Tahani
Michael: Hey, I've got some great news. I've arranged for you to have a weekend getaway. I bet you're tired of being cooped up in this house, aren't you?
Tahani: I am a bit, actually. All this time indoors has degraded my skin from radiant to merely dewy. Me? Dewy?