Tahani: I hereby pronounce you King Jason.
Jason: Dope. Where did you learn how to do this?
Tahani: The Hertfordshire Academy for Expressionless Girls. It was a finishing school I attended before Oxford, and then, of course, the Sorbonne. Do you know what, I don't think I ever asked you were educated.
Jason: I went to Lynyrd Skynyrd High School in Northeast Jacksonville, which was really just a bunch of tugboats tied together.
Tahani: Didn't you get seasick?
Jason: No, sorry... they were tied together in a junk yard. It wasn't a very good school. For most of my classes, we just sold dirty magazines door-to-door.
Tahani: You know, Jason, every single detail about your life is... deeply disturbing. And yet, I envy you. I was never allowed to goof off. Never even had a friend I could just be myself around.
Jason: Maybe I can be that friend. Or your husband.
Tahani: [chuckles] Okay, stop it.
Jason: No, no, no, I'm serious. Will you marry me?

Jason: Tahani, you're so smart. Every day you teach me something new about... art... and history... and why you shouldn't eat everything that smells good because sometimes, it's candles. You're basically, like, a hot genius teacher who sometime has sex with me, your student. That used to happen a lot at Lynyrd Skynyrd High School, but this time you won't be arrested. Oh, I love you, Tahani. Braap, braap, braap! Pew! Pew!

Michael: Hey, I've got some great news. I've arranged for you to have a weekend getaway. I bet you're tired of being cooped up in this house, aren't you?
Tahani: I am a bit, actually. All this time indoors has degraded my skin from radiant to merely dewy. Me? Dewy?