Eleanor Quote #80
Quote from Eleanor in ...Someone Like Me as a Member
[flashback:]
Gloria: Hi! Oh, you must be the new student Eleanor Shellstrop. I'm Gloria, the senior class secretary.
Eleanor: Cool.
Gloria: Well, welcome to Adobe High, home of the Scorpi-oties! Half the school wanted to be the Scorpions, half wanted to be the Coyotes, so we compromised. Why don't I give you a tour after lunch?
Eleanor: Yeah, no thanks, moptop.
Gloria: Uh, sorry?
Eleanor: Don't need your help, don't wanna sign your yearbook in, like, gel pen, don't wanna bedazzle our college essays, or whatever. I'm here for like six months, and I'm gonna fly solo. Beat it, Gloria.
Jessica: She is, like, such a dork. She, like, loves this school so much. Why don't you come sit with us? We'll teach you which guys are cute and which teachers are secretly pervs, and...
Eleanor: Yeah, that's a hard pass as well. I don't wanna get chunky highlights, make fun of nerds, and steal your mom's flavored vodka. I get your whole "mean girl" thing, and I'm all set with it, thanks. In fact... [stands up, bangs cafeteria trays together] Listen up, everyone. I'm Eleanor, I'm new here, and as a blanket statement for everyone: I don't wanna be a part of whatever little group you've formed because they're all equally lame. Everybody cool? Great.
Todd: Hey, that was really cool, the way you told all those poseurs...
Eleanor: No.
The Good Place Quotes
‘...Someone Like Me as a Member’ Quotes
Quote from Tahani
Michael: Oh, Tahani, I'm so sorry. I will obviously clean all of this up.
Tahani: I don't care about the house, Michael. I'm just upset that you let them walk all over you.
Michael: I know... they're the only thing in the Universe that scares me. I know what I have to do. I just have to be... more accommodating. Offer them everything they want, give in to all of their demands, and then they'll have to respect me.
Tahani: No, you need to stand up for yourself. I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told Mark Zuckerberg right before he ousted Eduardo Saverin. "You are smart, you are capable, and the time has come to hit 'unfriend.'" I also told Mark to lose the "the". Just "Facebook." That was me.
Quote from Vicky
Eleanor: Your parents are still together, I guess.
Real Eleanor: Oh, actually, um, I... I'm not sure. I never met my birth parents. They put me in an empty fish tank and abandoned me at a train station in Bangladesh. Luckily, I was found and adopted by a very nice couple, the Shellstrops...
Trevor: Oh, thank God.
Real Eleanor: But then they died when I was four. Bird flu.
Chidi: That's awful.
Real Eleanor: Anyway, orphanage burned down, yadda yadda yadda, made my way to America, yadda yadda yadda, learned English from watching Seinfeld, put myself through law school, and here I am.
Quote from Janet
Jason: Hey, Janet. You look sad.
Janet: People keep asking me questions that I don't know the answers to.
Jason: That was my whole life on Earth. You know, it doesn't matter if you know things. All that matters is what's in your heart.
Janet: Thanks, Jianyu. I mean, it does matter if I know things, because I'm an informational delivery system, and I don't have a heart, but thanks.