Chidi: So, everyone else in this neighborhood...
Michael: Except for you four, everyone in this neighborhood is one of us. After I came up with everyone's characters, we'd just create fun scenarios designed to torture you.
[flashback:]
Chidi: How can I be over it? We haven't discussed it or even spoken for days.
Eleanor: Well, it sounds like you've had a really nice vacation from your full-time job. Get your story straight.
[outside, Michael is eavesdropping:]
Michael: Okay. They're at each other's throats already. This should put them over the top. Ed, you play Bart, a former private eye. Ooh. Tracy, you're his soul mate, Nina... a marriage counselor. [both laughing]
Tracy: Maybe we can get them to swing with us.
Michael: [laughs] That's perfect, perfect! Shh, shh, shh. [knocks] Hey, guys? It's Michael!

Michael: That was really a fun time. Then it all started to go off the rails.
Eleanor: When I confessed. You had no idea I was gonna do that, because honestly, I had no idea I was gonna do that.
Michael: Yeah, that came out of nowhere. I mean, after that it was just a crazy scramble for all of us. You know, I definitely underestimated how effective Chidi was gonna be, teaching you to be good, and obviously, we didn't anticipate that Janet would fall in love with Jason
Tahani: Hang on. That part is real.
Michael: Oh, yeah. Janet isn't one of us. No, she's sort of a... foundational mainframe for all of the neighborhoods, good and bad. And apparently, this Janet is in love with Jason. I mean... [laughs] What a world, huh?

Michael: All right, let's try again, shall we?
Eleanor: You know what, bro? Do your worst. We figured it out once, we can do it again, because you know what, Michael? Ya bas...
[After Michael snaps his fingers, Eleanor is once again in Michael's waiting room:]
Michael: Eleanor, come on in. You, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead.
Eleanor: Cool.

[flashback:]
Dave: Morning, Mike. How's it hanging?
Michael: Oh. Fine, Dave, just fine. I put your mail on your desk and you have an appointment later with the Director of Point Calculations.
Dave: Ugh. Listen, we got the files for the new crop of incoming, and the Big Guy thinks it's time for you to fly solo.
Michael: I get to design it myself?
Dave: You've been an apprentice long enough. You're ready.
Michael: Oh, Dave, I'm gonna work so hard. My design is gonna be absolutely perfect.
Dave: [chuckles] Okay. Easy there, rookie. Starting immediately, you'll be out of my department. You'll be reporting directly to the front office. This is your shot. Good luck.

Eleanor: Well, it's been real, dog. Sorry, that's how I ended most of my serious relationships.
Chidi: Yeah, that checks out. I feel like I failed you.
Eleanor: No. Don't ever think that. I was dropped into a cave, and you were my flashlight.
Tahani: [hugs Eleanor] Oh. Good-bye forever. I will miss you so much.
Eleanor: I'll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper.

Real Eleanor: Hi, guys. Sorry to interrupt. Um, I'm going to the Bad Place. I've taken one of the slots.
Chidi: What?
Jason: Awesome.
Chidi: Eleanor, that's crazy. You belong here. Why would you go?
Real Eleanor: Everyone here is supposed to have a soul mate, and my soul mate doesn't love me. I don't know if you love the other Eleanor or Tahani or someone else, but you don't love me, which means that this... will never really be my Good Place. I'm going, so you only have to choose one more person. [door closes]
Eleanor: Okay, that means... that means that... what does that mean?
Jason: It means... I get to stay here with my wife forever! We did it, Eleanor! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

[flashback:]
Val: Morning, Mike.
Michael: Morning, Val.
Val: Which one's which? I always forget.
Michael: Black is regular, orange is anti-matter.
Val: Working on your first solo design, right? How's it coming?
Michael: Do you ever get the feeling we could be doing it all... differently? I mean, it's always the same. We get the names, come up with the design, they arrive, we move on to the next one. We never even get to be there...
to see how fun it is.
Val: Yeah, I guess, but don't rock the boat here, pal, just try to do a good job. [drinks] Mm. French vanilla? Regular anti-matter's fine, why flavor it?
Michael: A good job.
[Michael scrunches up his blueprints and then writes "A Bold New Plan" on his paper for 'Neighborhood 12358W "The Good Place"']

Eleanor: No, dude, this is bonkers. I am going. End of story.
Tahani: No, I'm going. End of everything.
Eleanor: What? Now you're trying to replace Chidi?
Tahani: No. I'm going to replace Real Eleanor. Chidi and I are going to go together, which means that you and Real Eleanor and Jason can stay.
Jason: Yes! We get to stay, baby! We did it!
Tahani: [to Chidi] Look, I love you and I think you love me. We can be together, away from everyone else. Obviously, we'll be miserable, but I truly believe our love will make us happy.

Bambadjan: [enters] Michael! I just found an obscure precedent in the rules that might just save everyone.
Eleanor: Buzz off, Bambadjan! Don't need it.
Bambadjan: Oh, okay. [chuckles] [exits]

Eleanor: Guys, we need a plan. Quick. Tahani, anything? Chidi, I need ya. You're the smart one.
Chidi: I-I can't. I-I can't.
Eleanor: Jason?
Jason: What? What's up?
Eleanor: Ugh!