‘Yes, We Have No Havanas’
Season 4, Episode 1 - Aired October 8, 1988
Blanche has unexpected competition when she starts dating an older Cuban man. Meanwhile, Rose takes Dorothy's adult education class after revealing she never graduated high school.
Quote from Blanche
Dorothy: You were saying, Blanche?
Blanche: Well, it's just breaking my heart. I've never cared for a man as much as Fidel Santa Domingo.
Dorothy: Santiago.
Blanche: Oh, whatever. The point is, he's rich, he's handsome and we were made for each other. Even if I don't speak Mexican.
Dorothy: Spanish.
Blanche: Whatever.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Oh, of all the nerve! How could he possibly think I'd continue seeing him? Blanche Devereaux has never shared a man!
Sophia: Or a pizza.
Blanche: And what does that mean, you wrinkled old crow?
Sophia: It means Fidel is interested in more than just a cheap thrill. He also wants a mind.
Blanche: Oh, yeah? Well, we'll see about that!
Sophia: You're on, baby!
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Fidel, stop! Even surgical stockings only have so much elastic!
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: I'll see you at noon for lunch?
Blanche: And six for dinner.
Sophia: Ten for dancing?
Blanche: Midnight for dessert.
Rose: Dessert at midnight?
Sophia: There's always room for Jell-O.
Quote from Sophia
Blanche: I just hate you. I regret the day you ever moved in here.
Sophia: And I regret the day I gave birth to you.
Dorothy: Ma! Ma, I'm your daughter.
Sophia: [disappointed] Oh, yeah. I need a Bromo Seltzer.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: Blanche, I hate to see you and Sophia fighting like that.
Blanche: She's trying to steal my man, and no one ever-
All: -steals a man from Blanche Devereaux.
Quote from Sophia
Blanche: I'm not giving Fidel up, Sophia.
Sophia: [downbeat] I am. I'm fighting a losing battle. You're younger, prettier. In the end, he'll choose you and it'll break my heart. He's yours, Blanche. No hard feelings.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia, wait. Why don't you take Fidel? I have all those other boyfriends.
Sophia: [cheerily] OK! Good night!
Blanche: Sophia! Sophia!
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: We killed him.
Blanche: I know. We might as well have put a gun to poor Fidel's head.
Sophia: We were too much woman for him. His spirit was willing, but his poor heart couldn't take it.
Blanche: It's all our fault. Our silly competitiveness did this.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, you two. The man was in his seventies. These things just happen. You had nothing to do with his heart giving out.