Dorothy Quote #494
Quote from Dorothy in The Audit
Mr. Murray: Good afternoon. My name is Wendell Murray. I'll be conducting your audit today.
Dorothy: Nice to meet you. I'm Dorothy Zbornak. This is my ex-husband, Stanley.
Stan: Wendell. [removing his wig] Paisan.
Dorothy: We're going to jail.
Mr. Murray: What did you call me?
Dorothy: Before he answers that, let me reiterate, we are bitterly divorced.
Stan: Relax, Dorothy. Wendell, I called you "paisan." Friend, brother of the scalp. Because if I may get philosophical for just one moment, I've always believed we bald men are like any other minority. That's why we have to stick together.
Mr. Murray: Who you calling bald?
Dorothy: Nobody, nobody. Just shut up and put your hair on.
The Golden Girls Quotes
‘The Audit’ Quotes
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: I can't believe this is happening. Our whole married life, I was so careful about money. And all the time, Stanley had his hand in the cookie jar.
Rose: In the olden days, the Vikings would cut off your hand if they caught you stealing. They'd cut out your tongue if they caught you lying. They'd cut off your feet if they caught you trespassing.
Sophia: Too bad there wasn't a Viking around when Stan knocked you up.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: I only have half of the 2500. And since I don't qualify for a bank loan, I'm just gonna have to sell some of my stuff.
Sophia: Hold it. No daughter of mine is selling her stuff. It's a sin, it's a crime, and let's face it, Dorothy, lately you can't give it away.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: Do you know that promotion I was up for at the counseling center? Well, I found out I can't have it unless I become bilingual.
Blanche: Oh, no, honey, don't do that. No job is worth having to date women.
Dorothy: Blanche, "bilingual" refers to a person who speaks more than one language.
Blanche: Oh! Why'd I think it was something sexual?