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Fiddler on the Ropes

‘Fiddler on the Ropes’

Season 4, Episode 18 -  Aired March 4, 1989

When Sophia is trusted to take money to the bank, she buys a Cuban prizefighter instead.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I say we just forget our money and save our behinds.
Sophia: Why? You've got a lot more behind than you do money.

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Quote from Rose

Pepe: Ladies, I guess I've got some explaining to do.
Rose: You sure do. Like why you snuck out on us. Like why you used us. Like why you're speaking better English than Sylvester Stallone.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: And is there anything else that you feel we're entitled to know before we kiss you and the $3,000 goodbye?
Pepe: You'll get your money back. I'm gonna fight tomorrow. I need that purse in case I get into Juilliard.
Rose: You need a purse to go to Juilliard?
Dorothy: You understood more when he spoke Spanish, didn't you, Rose?

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Pepe, why didn't you tell us all this when Sophia first brought you home?
Pepe: I was afraid you'd back out of the deal. I needed your money for the entrance fee for the fight.
Blanche: Entrance fee?
Sophia: Oh, yeah, right. Didn't I mention that? No problem. It comes out of Rose's share.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: What about the Spanish? Why did you pretend to only know Spanish?
Pepe: It's part of the image. Cuban boxers are supposed to know their right from their left, not much else.
Dorothy: And you think that we are that narrow-minded and prejudiced that we actually felt that way?
Pepe: You bought into it, didn't you? Hey, I didn't invent Kid Pepe. I just conformed to your image of a simple-minded Hispanic fighter. Well, I am a Cuban. But hath not a Cuban eyes? Hath not a Cuban hands? Organs? Dimensions? Senses? Affections? Passions? Fed with the same food? Hurt with the same weapons? Subject to the same diseases? Healed by the same means? Warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as you are? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? I also considered auditioning for the Actors Studio.
Sophia: Why does every fighter become an actor? Just once, I'd like it the other way around, if for no other reason than to see Chevy Chase get his butt kicked.

Quote from Sophia

Charley: Ladies, I've spent years working with this boy, watching him turn into a masterful musician. You yourselves have heard how he makes the violin sing. But his fate is in your hands. Please, please don't make him step into that ring tomorrow.
Blanche: You mean and lose all our money?
Charley: Yes.
Rose: That's the most touching thing I've ever heard. I don't know what to say.
Sophia: I do. Fat chance, grandpa!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Sophia, if he steps in the ring, he might hurt his hands.
Blanche: Unless it turns out that he's so bad that he gets knocked out before he can throw a punch. Is everybody thinking what I'm thinking?
Rose: That that was a really mean thing to say.
Dorothy: As a general rule, Rose, you should not be the first to answer.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Pepe, could we have a word with you for just a moment? There's something we'd like to discuss.
Pepe: Can it wait? Right now, I've got a few things on my mind.
Rose: Like that big sucker over in the other corner?
Pepe: That's right at the top of the list.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I'm so glad Pepe has the opportunity to be an actor.
Sophia: Why? When was the last time you saw a Cuban Macbeth? He'll get out of school and spend his whole career getting arrested on TV cop shows.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Everything is on the up and up. He does have a fight scheduled. All we have to do is hire a cut man, but I can probably do that on my way back from the dry cleaner's. Gee, it sounds so natural, doesn't it?
Blanche: Then I guess till next Tuesday, we are Kid Pepe's managers.
Rose: What happens after Tuesday?
Sophia: We take our winnings and buy a heavyweight. OK. A middleweight and a microwave.

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