Principal Ball: In light of the Quaker Warden's even-more-recent announcement of her departure, I would like to announce that I have reconsidered and I will be staying on as your principal.
Mr. Glascott: Ugh! I've seen pretzel factories with fewer twists.
Brea: Don't they have staff meetings or...
Beverly: [microphone feedback] Uh, but you just said life was too short.
Principal Ball: But... But I re-re-considered. And... And the butterfly and the daffodil... Big yawn. Life is exactly the right length.
Beverly: Well, then I'm staying, too. Ha ha!
Principal Ball: Then I'm going.
Brea: I don't think she's getting what he's doing here.
Beverly: Oh. Oh.
Dave Kim: Hey, look at that. She got it.
Beverly: You don't want to leave. You just want to be wherever I'm not!
Principal Ball: How can I convey this? Totally.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, it was clear. Neither my mom nor Principal Ball really wanted to leave, and I had to be the one to remind them why.
Adam: Wait! It's true, I wanted independence at college. But, Principal Ball, you don't really want my mom to leave.
Principal Ball: It feels like that is what I want.
Adam: No! I think, deep down, you have affection for her. And you share the same goal, making sure every kid who passes through this place gets the very best they deserve.
Principal Ball: I suppose. But she just makes it so darn difficult sometimes.
Adam: But all of you have benefited from having her here, from the shiny, new urinals to safer parking lots to teachers who care deeply. She's made this school, and you, better.

Principal Ball: Well, she did fight for me to win the Educator of the Year Award, which is usually just a beauty contest.
Helen: And she always checks the dates on the cans I open. I mean, who does that?
Andrea: She got me chalk when I asked you for chalk and you said to go to the "chalk-o-late factory," but you didn't really tell me where the chalk was.
Mr. Woodburn: [laughs] Yeah. Oh, just come back to me later.
Mr. Glascott: You know I'm your biggest champion.
Principal Ball: Enough! I will meet you halfway. Will you just back off a tad?
Beverly: No.
Principal Ball: No?
Beverly: If I do, then the kids won't get what they need.
Principal Ball: Damn it! Fine. I guess we can both stay.
Beverly: [gasps] Ahh! Oh, you want me! You really want me!
Mr. Glascott: Best assembly ever. [hugs Mr. Woodburn]

Erica: I'm so sorry this happened to you, Lou.
Geoff: You should be. This is on you.
Erica: Excuse me?
Geoff: None of this would have happened if you hadn't made such a big deal about doing our own Sunday-night thing. I like being with my parents. I even like doing their chores.
Lou Schwartz: In your face, Erica.
Geoff: But it's also on both of you.
Linda Schwartz: What are you saying?
Geoff: I love you guys so much, but sometimes, you take advantage of me.
Erica: Now whose face is it in?
Lou Schwartz: I suppose we do take advantage, but it's just that we love spending time with our sweet boy.
Erica: We all do. Look, there's no reason that we can't compromise. Some Sunday nights we'll be at home, and some, we'll be here.
Geoff: And you're okay with that?
Erica: If it's with you, definitely. Can we watch something besides Geoff just doing chores?
Lou Schwartz: What else do you have in mind?
Erica: We'll think of something... Together.