Mr. Glascott Quote #116
Quote from Mr. Glascott in One Exquisite Evening with Madonna
Mr. Glascott: But I need your help. There's this high-school couple that are both trying to get into Rutgers.
Geoff: What couple?
Mr. Glascott: Their names are Jeff and Erica.
Erica: They have the same names as us?
Mr. Glascott: Uh, no. His is Jeff with a "J," not an insane "G," like yours.
Geoff: What's happening?
Mr. Glascott: So, Jeff and Erica... not you... are very much in love, but they have an issue. It seems that Erica's kind of a sneaky pig, and J-Jeff is always having to mop up her sloppy-slop.
Erica: What does this have to do with Rutgers?
Mr. Glascott: Rutgers? Oh, yeah, Rutgers. Now, imagine you, Geoff and Erica, are Jeff and Erica. How would you two talk this out?
Erica: I probably wouldn't, because I haven't been following a single thing that you've said.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘One Exquisite Evening with Madonna’ Quotes
Quote from Barry
Barry: Stop shopping immediately. I have a menagerie of items that would delight any woman.
Adam: I told you, I don't need your help.
Barry: Opposite! My intimate knowledge of ladies' needs and desires is well-established.
Adam: Is it, though?
Barry: Item one... a deadly titanium crossbow. You and your gal pal can spend a reckless evening at the junkyard shooting out windshields.
Adam: None of this sounds like you waiting in the car.
Barry: Item two... tighty whities, the gentleman's lingerie. You give her a few boudoir photos in these, she'll remember you forever.
Adam: How could she not?
Barry: I've saved the best for last. A bulk warehouse box of Bonkers Fruit Chew candies. When she smooches you to thank you, think of me.
Adam: I'm not giving her pieces of purple candy!
Barry: Whatever! Have fun dying alone with no cavities.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: [casps] My sweet baby girl is home!
Erica: Relax, we're only here for one week.
Geoff: We have black mold.
Erica: It's really not a big deal.
Beverly: Please, my chiropractor's receptionist's nephew slept in a bedroom with black mold. Soon he was carrying his lungs around in a backpack, which he lost on an airplane, then he had to be hooked up to one of those air pumps you use to inflate pool toys. Now he lives alone in a park ranger tower, where the air is clean and the woods are lonely.
Erica: That seems scientifically accurate, but point is we're only here for one week.
Beverly: A week with my baby and baby-in-law. I'm gonna hug whoever put that black mold in your apartment.
Geoff: You already are.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Hey! I was watching that! He's an American werewolf, but in London. Think of the culture shock.